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LAST UPDATED: 07/24/2015


MISSION:I want to help pay off all of my husband and I's debt. This includes paying off our car, paying off college loans, and paying off credit cards. I'm only paying off part of the debt while my husband takes care of the rest. 

We've happily reached a state where we have enough money to pay monthly bills, eat healthily, have fuel for the car, and have a small amount of fun every week so we don't go insane with cabin fever. However, we don't have enough to quickly take out the debt that has accumulated, most of which is college loans. I wish to earn the money through commissions and give us that extra boost to get rid of the debt sooner than later. 

Please help out by purchasing a commission from me or at the very least spreading the word for my commissions.

:bulletred: Commission Information - Read this journal for info on what I will and will not draw, how to request, how to pay, and to see available slots.
:bulletred: Commission Prices - This journal contains the information on the commission types I offer and their prices.
:bulletred: Commission Rewards - Read this journal to see what rewards are available to those who purchase commissions from me. There are also rewards listed for when I reach certain milestones.

BIG GOAL:

:star: END GOAL: $22,000 USD
:star: GOAL REACHED: $55 USD


LITTLE GOALS:

:star: JULY 2015 GOAL: $190 USD
:star: JULY 2015 GOAL REACHED: $55 USD


NEWEST COMPLETED COMMISSIONS:

Commission - Lucien Bust by TouchedVenus Commission - Madam Widow Bust by TouchedVenus Commission - Vella Bust by TouchedVenus Commission - Chrysocolla Bust by TouchedVenus Commission - Kohaku by TouchedVenus Commission - Beccat by TouchedVenus Commission - Xaneria, Savaena, and Grandchild by TouchedVenus Commission - Myralion, Ilaera, and Child by TouchedVenus Commission - Xuan Long and Qi Rui by TouchedVenus Commission - Ravenswood, Melody, and Emily by TouchedVenus    
Hello Hello!

So when I woke up this morning it came to my mind that I probably won't be able to work on Sapphirine's face today because of multiple reasons.

1. I stayed up until 5am, and I've now just awoken at 12pm.
2. I have DnD this afternoon at 6pm.

I need to clean house, updated finances, and get a shower before then. So my art time is going to be limited. I'll still see if I can squeeze something in, but I probably won't work on the image again until tomorrow. It would be so nice if I could complete it this weekened and move on to the next piece. :D

Been thinking about what I want to do this month art-wise. I have ideas, and we'll see what comes of it. I know I'm going to definitely do these three:

+ Grimoire Rose: 3k Thanks
+ Kidariko's Raffle Prize
+ mirz-alt's Raffle Prize

Some ideas and things I've been wanting to draw:

+ Grimoire Rose - Comic Pages
+ Something summery and Grimoire Rose related
+ My husband and I's eternally bonded Final Fantasy XIV couple - Azrael and Irryal (they are so cute together)
+ Rose Quartz from Steven Universe
+ Garnet from Steven Universe
+ Amethyst from Steven Universe
+ A Grimoire Rose / Steven Universe crossover
+ Kuja from Final Fantasy IX
+ Zidane and Garnet from Final Fantasy IX
+ Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII
+ Xellos from Slayers
+ Amon from Legend of Korra

My desire is pretty equal on all of the ideas, so it's been difficult deciding from the group what I'm going to work on before the passion for the idea fades. :XD: Definitely not going to be able to do it all this month. We'll see what gets chosen and what doesn't. I'm just so happy that the desire is there again. :love: 

I know when I do the Zidane and Garnet piece (definitely doing this one at some point, maybe not this month but it is happening), I will be doing a sing-over with it. Basically it will be a sped up drawing/painting video of my process on the image with me singing a cover of Melodies of Life over it. Not sure when it's going to happen, but it's happening. I've been collecting equipment/programs for good sound quality and screen capturing. I think we just about have everything now, and I just need to do some test runs. My husband is helping me out. :D

I have studied musical performance pretty much my entire life and even went to a university for it. I feel like those talents have been sitting on the sidelines, and have decided to put them back to use. :XD: So, I hope you enjoy the sing-overs when they start coming out. :D I'll be posting them on youtube for your viewing pleasure. :) Eventually I'll start recording original songs, but for now we're sticking to covers probably mostly from video games, movies, and broadway shows. :'D

But yeah, if you don't see any art previews today, I'll get some more out this weekend and maybe even a finished piece if time allows. Thanks for being patient and supportive! :love:

--Destinie

EDIT: Added final preview of Scarlet's face for tonight.

EDIT: Added second preview :)

Weee first preview of how my Scarlet is coming along so far!

Just a reminder because I know his name confuses people sometimes, but Scarlet is in fact male. Scarlet isn't his real name. It's just what people call him because he wears a lot of red, and he's not inclined to give out his real name. He's got the whole enigma thing going on.

Yes, he is wearing red make-up. He isn't trans or anything, though (nothing against that I do have trans characters and bi-sexual characters). He just likes how the red looks on his eyes and happens to like fashion. :'D

Actually I do have two trans characters that are happily married to each other. I'll have to show them off one day. They are fun, and loosely based off a lovely couple I used to know.

In any case, I love my handsome baby. -snuggles him-

Preview Image:
Art Preview: Scarlet's Eyes by TouchedVenus Art Preview: Scarlet's Eyes and Nose by TouchedVenus Art Preview: Scarlet's Face by TouchedVenus

For those unaware, Scarlet is one of the characters from the story I've been working on with my husband for the past few years. He's come a long way in design and story, and we actually merged him with another character for the sake of the story about a year or so ago. Just made more sense for them to be one instead of separate. They were way too similar.

Here are older pictures of him for you to enjoy:
GR: Did You Miss Me? by TouchedVenus GR: Scarlet Autumn by TouchedVenus GR: Chibi Scarlet by TouchedVenus GR: Evanescence by TouchedVenus GR: Scarlet Pin-Up by TouchedVenus GR: This Is How I Disappear by TouchedVenus GR: Scarlet Seduction by TouchedVenus

Thanks for looking!

--Destinie
EDIT: Added third preview showing his whole face. :)

EDIT: Added a second preview to show the changes and what I've done so far. Details about it written in the artist comments of the image.

Digital painting takes forever, but I do like the result far more than just drawing and throwing on quick colors. I am still working on this one picture that I started on before going into the hospital. I know when I do it more and decide what I do and do not like I'll get faster. That's how it's always been with my art.

Right now I'm still in the slow stage of figuring out the methods I prefer. Fun to explore, but I get impatient sometimes because I love results. Art is such a great way to teach yourself patience and enjoying the journey. I'm thankful for having it in my life.

In any case, tiny tiny tiny unfinished snippet of a three person picture I'm working on:


Art Preview: Cassidy's Eye by TouchedVenus Art Preview: Cassidy's Eyes by TouchedVenus Art Preview: Cassidy's Face by TouchedVenus

Made a fun comparison of Cassidy from 2006 to Cassidy now:

Cassidy: 2006 vs 2015 by TouchedVenus

LOL just realized I have new watchers who are not familiar with my characters. :XD: This is one of my pretty boys. His name is Cassidy Raven. Here are some OLD pictures of him (It's been well over a year since I drew a picture of him):

GR: Wait For Me by TouchedVenus GR: Cassidy Mini-Chibi by TouchedVenus GR: Let's Play A Game by TouchedVenus GR: Chibi Cassidy Raven by TouchedVenus GR: Catch Me If You Can by TouchedVenus

--Destinie :rose:
Hey guys,

EDIT: Heh... nevermind on the commissions. My husband has asked that I don't open them for a while and focus on personal work... so I guess that means Grimoire Rose and Fan Art for the next month or so. I hope you guys don't mind.

I know I recently posted about my Patreon again with it updated, but it looks like I might be taking it down and trying something else. The take down could be temporary or permanent. I haven't decided yet, but at the moment it just doesn't feel like it's working.

At the moment I'm in a state where commissions aren't absolutely necessary. My husband's new job brings in more than enough money to take care of bills, and that's wonderful. Anything I bring in via commissions is simply something that would help us get out of debt faster and start being able to save up for a house faster. Which would be wonderful mind you. LOL I get a little impatient for change at times.

In any case, my husband and I are working a little something out that will hopefully allow me commission time, rewards to you guys for helping me reach money goals, and also allowing me plenty of time to work on my personal projects like Grimoire Rose.

So stay tuned. :)


:star: Recently Completed Art:

Commission - Kohaku by TouchedVenus Commission - Beccat by TouchedVenus Gift - King Gaius Bust by TouchedVenus Commission - Xaneria, Savaena, and Grandchild by TouchedVenus Commission - Myralion, Ilaera, and Child by TouchedVenus Commission - Xuan Long and Qi Rui by TouchedVenus Commission - Ravenswood, Melody, and Emily by TouchedVenus Commission - Captain Pounce'alot Bust by TouchedVenus Commission - Chibi Captain Pounce'alot Line Art by TouchedVenus Commission - Chibi Sugar Sweet by TouchedVenus

---> CLICK HERE TO SEE HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT ME ON PATREON! <---


Hello Everyone!!

I'm happy to announce that my Patreon is now back up and running. Goals have been updated as well as the Pledge Rewards! I would really love your support, so if you would like to help out please check out the giant link at the top of this journal for more information!

WHY PATREON AND WHY SHOULD YOU PLEDGE?
As artists it is our greatest passion to draw our own ideas and our hearts' desires, but that is not always something that can be done easily when bills need to be paid. My hope is that through Patreon I will be able to spend less time on commissions and more time on my personal project Grimoire Rose and doing fun things with my viewers and supporters. As my patrons increase I will add more rewards and more milestones for everyone to enjoy, so the more the merrier!

WHEN WILL YOU BE CHARGED?
You are giving per month and payment will be taken at the beginning of each month. Pledge rewards will be given out during the first week of each month AFTER payment is processed.

THANK YOU!
Every little bit you give helps. Even if only $1! But the more you give the more perks you get! Keep reading below to see what is available to my patrons.

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CURRENT PATREON GOAL: $75 per month

If I reach this goal, every month I will draw a fan art that my patrons get to vote on what the topic will be! Here is your chance to see me draw the fan art you've been wanting to see! :D The 300dpi PSD, 300dpi Line Art PSD, and Step-by-Step Process Sheet for this fan art will be available to all patrons!

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CURRENT PATRON REWARDS:


:bulletred: LEVEL ONE: If you pledge $1 or more you will receive the following perks:
1. Patreon only view of my doodles and sketches for the month.
2. If you're on deviantART and you're also one of my watchers you will receive your art featured on my deviantART monthly.

:bulletred: LEVEL TWO: If you pledge $5 or more you will receive the following perks:
1. All of the Level One perks.
2. Exclusive access to the step-by-step processes of all digital works finished over the course of the month.

:bulletred: LEVEL THREE: If you pledge $10 or more you will receive the following perks:
1. All of the Level One and Level Two perks.
2. Exclusive access to the High Res 300dpi PSD all Fan Art and Grimoire Rose art I complete during the month. I will not provide the PSDs for the original characters of others.

:bulletred: LEVEL FOUR: If you pledge $20 or more you will receive the following perks:
1. All of the Level One, Level Two, and Level Three perks.
2. Exclusive access to the High Res 300 dpi Line Art PSD all Fan Art and Grimoire Rose art I complete during the month. If you do color these works, please be sure to give me credit for the line work and the Grimoire Rose characters. I will not provide Line Art PSDs for the original characters of others.

:bulletred: LEVEL FIVE: If you pledge $25 or more you will receive the following perks: [LIMITED AVAILABILITY: 4 Open Spots]
1. All of the Level One, Level Two, Level Three, and Level Four perks.
2. You get a head and shoulders commission each month you hold this spot from me of any character of your choice, full color, and framed background with the High Res 300dpi PSD and Line Art and the step-by-step process of the image. My Commission Rules Here - Next are examples of Head and Shoulder Art I've done recently:
Gift - King Gaius Bust by TouchedVenus Commission - Captain Pounce'alot Bust by TouchedVenus Gift - Whovian Hobbit Bust by TouchedVenus


:bulletred: LEVEL SIX: If you pledge $50 or more you will receive the following perks: [LIMITED AVAILABILITY: 3 Open Spots]
1. All of the Level One, Level Two, Level Three, and Level Four perks.
2. You get a chibi commission each month you hold this spot from me of any character of your choice, full color, and framed background with the High Res 300dpi PSD and Line Art and the step-by-step process of the image. My Commission Rules Here - Next are examples of Chibi Art I've done recently:
Commission - Chibi Captain Pounce'alot Line Art by TouchedVenus Commission - Chibi Sugar Sweet by TouchedVenus Commission - Chibi Eva by TouchedVenus

:bulletred: LEVEL SEVEN: If you pledge $100 or more you will receive the following perks: [LIMITED AVAILABILITY: 2 Open Spots]
1. All of the Level One, Level Two, Level Three, and Level Four perks.
2. You get a half body commission each month you hold this spot from me of any character of your choice, full color, and full background with the High Res 300dpi PSD and Line Art and the step-by-step process of the image. My Commission Rules Here - Next are examples of Half Body Art I've done recently:
Commission - Kohaku by TouchedVenus Commission - Beccat by TouchedVenus Commission - Xaneria, Savaena, and Grandchild by TouchedVenus

:bulletred: LEVEL EIGHT: If you pledge $150 or more you will receive the following perks: [LIMITED AVAILABILITY: 1 Open Spots]
1. All of the Level One, Level Two, Level Three, and Level Four perks.
2. You get a full body commission each month you hold this spot from me of any character of your choice, full color, and full background with the High Res 300dpi PSD and Line Art and the step-by-step process of the image. My Commission Rules Here - Next are examples of Full Body Art I've done recently:
Commission - Fran from FF12 - Line Art by TouchedVenus Commission - Marina by TouchedVenus COMMISSION - Faith and Ashriel by TouchedVenus

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NOT ABLE TO SUPPORT ME VIA PATREON BUT WOULD STILL LIKE TO HELP OUT? COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN! :party:

Please see the following two journals for more information on my commissions:
:bulletred: COMMISSIONS INFO - OPEN
:bulletred: Commissions Price List (Prices from $4 to $304)

And if you're just too broke to help out financially, but you still wish to help out in some way, please take the time to advertise this journal for me on your deviantART account! Spreading the word is always helpful and much appreciated. :D

Thanks in advance you beautiful people! :love:

--Destinie

Update on my brother, Dragon-Bat:
They've got him on IV fluids and nutrients, water only. He didn't throw up today, but did a lot yesterday. He's alright overall, disappointed that stuff happened and he can't go home yet, but not depressed like last time. Not sure about when he's going home. He had another partial blockage that caused his food to not get digested and instead come back up.

Please continue to keep him in your prayers.

Other than that I h
ad a bit of a lazy evening. My Final Fantasy XIV character (Irryal Nocturne on Excalibur) is now item level 180, though my headgear still needs to be upgraded to i180.

lordpenguinman and I also started working on clearing the new Alexander Raid. We are on the final floor, and we've abandoned three times. First two times we ended up with horribly childish people who I guarantee would have wet themselves had he or I directly confronted them in person about their immaturity. Alas, people love the security a computer gives them. We did a third run with some people from the Free Company, but honestly I'm not sure why people were dying that time. LOL But who cares! I got a new shiny ring from running what we did of Alexander, so it's all good.

We will probably try again sometime tomorrow, though my husband and I need to finish painting the kitchen, and I have a few other more productive things I want to take care of before doing that. Including working some more on the 3k Thank You picture! Oh, and he and I have obligations at a friend's house tomorrow as well. So maybe art will actually be on Sunday. We'll see. Trying to not force deadlines on myself because that's been an unsuccessful experience for far too long.

Anyway, we also cleared Bismarck Extreme today. Fun times! Ravana Extreme wasn't a successful clear, though. Oh well. We will try again later. XD

And that's it for me. Have a good night everyone!

--Destinie :rose:

Please pray for my brother Dragon-Bat. He was supposed to come home from the hospital today and things turned a little ugly at the last minute, and he's plugged back up to everything except for the tube down his throat.

He's stable, but the doctors are trying to figure out what happened.

--Destinie
I don't care to go into details, but I'm having a hard day. As such, I can't guarantee an art stream tonight. I'm not going to promise one tomorrow either. I need to get some things situated. I might still stream tonight, but I don't know. We'll see.

In any case, if you don't mind, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I'm struggling, and I don't want to talk about it more than that.

Thank you.

--Destinie
Well, I thought I was going to stream tonight, but after a very busy day my eyelids are incredibly heavy and I don't think I'd be able to concentrate on coloring before passing out at my desk. LOL My brother (Dragon-Bat) has been back in the hospital, but he's coming home tomorrow! My husband (lordpenguinman) and I were out visiting with him for a bit. He looks so good compared to how he was when we saw him after his surgery earlier last week. I know he's going to be happy to be home tomorrow as well.

Go give him some love and welcome him home! :heart:

Lore of the Stickman by Dragon-Bat Dragon-bat by Dragon-Bat Machine Infernal- Volatilis Sententia by Dragon-Bat Undead Rooster Rooftop by Dragon-Bat Nosferatu by Dragon-Bat

Also now let's try to keep myself and my family members out of the hospital for a bit. :'D

Planning to do some art streaming tomorrow. :heart:

--Destinie :rose:
Hooray! Had a successful art stream via Twitch.tv last night. There were lots of technical difficulties but with the help of my husband (lordpenguinman), his sister (theotherkirby), and a close friend of ours we got it all sorted out. I'm thankful for them sitting in and listening for errors in sound and video quality.

Though we still had issues like a 20 to 40 second delay between what I did and when it showed up on the video, so if I responded to someone over my mic they wouldn't hear my response immediately. The video also froze a couple times, and I would have to reset the stream. I'm using OBS with assistance from Adobe Audition for sound quality. We're thinking about trying out Picarto either tonight or tomorrow to see the quality difference.

Overall I was pretty happy with how the stream went, though. We had Distant Worlds playing in the background while I worked on laying down more color to a picture I had started on before I ended up in the hospital. So happy to be working on art again. Several people who follow me here on deviantART stopped in for conversation and to watch me work as well which was fun. Thank you so much again for stopping in! :D

The picture I'm working on is a thank you picture to my deviantART watchers since before my hospital incident I reached over 3,000 followers. HAPPY! After that I have three personal pictures planned and fourteen pictures for other people that I owe, so I'm going to be pretty busy art wise for I expect at least two months before I open commissions back up. I'm going to work and play it by ear and see what happens. It just feels so good to be back in business.

Also with the recording equipment starting to work properly I'm going to look into squeezing music recording in at some point. Not sure when, still kind of playing things by ear. I know my husband and I were talking about maybe doing a music test run on Friday, but that depends on how much we get done before then on other stuff. Songs planned so far that I've been practicing:

+ Little Drummer Boy (for lilbit075 and her mother)
+ Kiss Me Goodbye - from Final Fantasy 12
+ Melodies of Life - from Final Fantasy 9
+ Dragonsong - from Final Fantasy 14

Love that style of music so much <3

But yeah, this is kind of where I am at right now on working with stuff. I'll let you guys know the next time I'm streaming, so if you've got time and want to say hello feel free to drop by! :D Might even test out doing recordings and putting them on youtube which is more permanent. We'll see! <3

In any case, love you guys and hope you're all doing well!

--Destinie :rose:
Hello everyone!

EDIT: Alrighty guys! Stopping for tonight. Will continue streaming tomorrow, and I will start working on the more painting side of things and detailing. Thanks for watching!

EDIT: Sorry it seems like the stream froze for a moment. I have it back up and running again.

I'm going to start streaming again. Still working out a schedule for streaming, but let's just have some fun today, shall we? I'm no longer streaming with Livestream. I now stream with Twitch.

STREAM CHANNEL: www.twitch.tv/touchedvenus

TODAY'S MUSIC: Distant Worlds - Final Fantasy Collection, All 3 Albums

PROJECT: Grimoire Rose, Thanks for over 3,000 watches on my deviantART account! Covering the coloring process since I already drew this before my hospital visit. I do start off messy just as a heads up. I'll begin by laying down the colors I wish to use for shading/highlighting/etc and once I've done that for the whole picture I'll begin removing lines and blending like you've seen me do on recent images:

Commission - Beccat by TouchedVenus Commission - Captain Pounce'alot Bust by TouchedVenus FF14: Halloween 2014 by TouchedVenus

Streaming July-7-2015 [OFFLINE] by TouchedVenus

CAN YOU ASK QUESTIONS?: Yes! There is a chat box, so feel free to talk to me and anyone else that might hop in. I will be talking via microphone, and as a heads up there is a 20 second delay in the video.

Looking Forward To Seeing You!
Many apologies at how late this is, but I've just now gotten some order back in my life after the incident that happened. Thank you for being patient. :heart:

People In The Raffle For February 2015 Commissions:
01. xdarkx567
02. mirz-alt
03. shrimpHEBY
04. epicShadowdragon
05. BecSparrow
06. Xaneria

Random Number Generator by TouchedVenus

WINNER IS: :party: :iconmirz-alt: :party:

You win a free waist-up, one character, no background image from me! :D Please send me a note with what you'd like, and congrats again. :D

Commissions are currently closed, but I will let everyone know when they are open again. Thank you again to everyone who helped out!

Thanks guys! :D

--Destinie
Hello darlings,

I wanted to once more remind you that I've not abandoned you. I also wanted to let you know that I've received and read all of the comments that were sent to me on my last journal ( Just Got Out Of The Hospital - Recovering ). You remind me once more about why I love deviantART so much. You guys are all incredibly supportive, and it warms my heart.

I am recovering, and technically have two weeks left of doctor ordered recovery time. My surgery incisions have healed very nicely, and I'm slowly regaining energy. Though, I must admit I stay fairly exhausted. Thankfully, the doctor okayed for me to get back on my vitamins, so I'll be doing that soon and she told me to add extra iron. I've got everything I need already, so just got to take it, take my pain meds as needed, and keep moving.

Other good news that needs to be mentioned is that my husband has found a really good temporary position at a large company helping them with a JIVE project. The contract is currently set to 3 months, but it looks like they are going to extend it to 6 months because they like him so much. I'm crossing my fingers that this will eventually turn into a fully hired position, but either way working at this company will look amazing on his resume, and the pay is fantastic enough to help us get out of our dire situation.

More good news is that my husband and I qualified for financial aid to pay for my medical bills, which is a huge relief. I was terrified over that for a bit.

Despite the good things, I must admit I have been depressed since everything happened and not really wanting to associate with anyone. I kind of hid in video games (Final Fantasy 14) to escape. I am, however, regaining my drive. Today I even checked on my tablet and programs to make sure everything was working properly.

I'm not going to be reopening commissions more than likely until closer to August. I feel like I need to do some personal work to get back into drawing again first. I haven't drawn anything since February. So expect to (cross your fingers, eye, and toes!) see some work from me soon-ish. Definitely before June ends.

And once more, thank you to all of you who have stuck by me and been supportive. It means the world to me.

--Destinie :rose:
Hey guys,

How are you doing? I hope that you are well. As for me, I am hanging in there and looking at the positive side of things despite all the horribleness that has happened recently. Some of you may have noticed, and many of you probably didn't (that's okay, btw), but I have been absent from deviantART since sometime around the end of February / beginning of March. I'm going to try to sum up what's been going on the best I can.

So around the time I became absent was because I had started feeling burned out after the string of commissions that I had done. I had also started feeling really sickly and extremely depressed. Normally when I get depressed I can snap back out of my depression in about a week, but a week passed then two weeks and then a month and then two months, etc. I knew something was wrong and I couldn't put my finger on it. My emotions were completely out of whack and I felt like complete crap all the time.

Around the end of April / beginning of May, I started spotting which isn't normal for me. For those that don't know what spotting is, it is when a woman has a "tiny" period of sorts with not a lot of blood. I am extremely irregular and only have 2-3 periods a year. When I do have a period, there is a flood of blood and it is an absolutely horrendous experience. I spoke to my husband and we decided I should do a pregnancy test.

On May 3rd after a stick test and going to the doctor, I found out that I was pregnant. My husband and I were so excited and happy we didn't know what to do with ourselves. We've been wanting a baby, and finally one was on the way. However, because of my irregularity with my cycles they could not be used to determine how far along my pregnancy was. I was scheduled for my first ultrasound on May 12th.

May 12th, I had my ultrasound nervously. Something had been feeling off. I don't know. I guess it was just my intuition, and I hate it when I'm right. They couldn't find a baby, and yet my pregnancy hormones were present and rising. They did more blood tests on me, and the next day they called me and told me I needed to have a D&C procedure to remove the pregnancy tissue. They told me I had one of the following issues:

1. Partial Miscarriage
2. Molar Pregnancy
3. Ectopic Pregnancy

Either way, I was scheduled for more blood tests and the minor out-patient surgery on May 14th. My husband and I were heartbroken and devastated that this was happening. It happens to a lot of couples, but it doesn't make it any less painful to deal with.

When I went in for the procedure everything was like a whirlwind of questions. The people at the hospital I'd been transferred to for the procedure started throwing questions at us about why we were having the procedure, and we told them about how we were supposed to have blood work done beforehand, and one of the nurses felt the procedure we were having was unnecessary because maybe I just wasn't as far along as thought. Not wanting to lose a baby, my husband and I held our breath for more tests and hoped for the best. Before we'd even gotten the tests results back, some people tried to force me into the surgery, but we refused because that is not what we were told originally, and we didn't want to just end my pregnancy if there was a baby. It was very angering and insulting. It was almost like they were trying to do assembly line work, and I didn't matter. Eventually the surgeon sent one of her assistants to tell me that my blood work stated I needed to have the procedure because the pregnancy wasn't viable. They also stated that they were sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy or a molar pregnancy, and that I had an unfinished miscarriage. Heartbroken, I had the procedure and afterwards they repeated once again that it seemed it was a miscarriage, but we'd know more in a week after they studied what was removed from me. They asked me to come in the next day for bloodwork, and told me that because it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy there was no reason for me to have the preventative shot. That day I felt ill and bled like I was having a normal cycle as they told me I would.

The next day, Friday, I felt too sick with sadness to go into the doctor for more bloodwork. My husband called the doctor and they said it would be okay for me to come in on Monday. I was still bleeding a little bit, but it was less than the day before.

Saturday, I only had one drop of blood and no more. My husband decided we needed to have a good day to cheer us up, so we went out on the town and had a good time with lots of laughter, crying, and loving one another.

Saturday night, I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen and things started to go down hill from there. During the night my stomach progressively hurt worse, and I became bloated. I was dizzy, nauseous, and constipated. My husband and I assumed that I had caught a stomach bug because my father whom we'd seen very recently had a 24 hour stomach virus that caused him to feel the exact same way. At one point I felt such intense pain that as I ran to the bathroom from my bedroom I stumbled and then blacked out. The only thing I heard was my husband yelling my name, and when I came to I was laying on the floor wrapped in a blanket with my head on a pillow. I decided I wanted to go to the bathroom and have a shower to see if it would help me feel better, and I wanted to move while the pain was tame. I was looking forward to the 24 hour period ending. I hadn't been sick like this since I was in high school. I got in the shower, and my stomach hurt so much that I just laid down and ran the warm shower water on my stomach. It felt so good, and I fell asleep with the water running on me. Unfortunately, now I was unable to get out of the tub.

Saturday turned into Sunday, and I knew it was going to be a long day. I threw up on myself several times while lying in the tub. I couldn't get comfortable, and if someone tried to move me I would cry out in pain. My husband called my parents to come, and everyone took turns watching over me. I couldn't eat or drink. When it came to liquids I was lucky they got me to get two sips of water. I think I had exactly 8oz of liquid maybe that entire day and no food. They would force me to take tylenol. My husband spoke with nurses on the phone, and they told him to give me ibuprofen along with the tylenol. To ease my nausea since I was only puking up the water and stomach bile, my mother would hold alcohol swabs under my nose until I could fall asleep. They would alternate between running warm water on me until it got cold, and then they would dry me off and wrap me in pillows and blankets since they couldn't get me out of the tub. The closest they could get me to do was sit up, but as soon as I would try to stand I would black out into unconsciousness and fall. This cycle continued until nightfall, and we were sure I'd feel better in the morning. My husband made himself a bed on the bathroom floor next to me, and my parents went home.

Sunday turned into Monday and during the earliest hours of the morning it became clear that I wasn't recovering, and that I was getting worse. My husband knew he needed to get me to the hospital, but he couldn't get me out of the bath tub on his own and even if he could I would pass out before he could get me to the car. I told him to stop trying to play superman and call the paramedics, so he did. They arrived shortly, and were extremely concerned upon seeing me. I hadn't seen myself, but according to them my skin was mottled, and when they started checking my vitals they were not good at all. I didn't understand everything that they said, but I did hear tachycardia and that my breathing was making up for the rest of my vitals to keep me alive. Before they would even attempt to move me they pumped with with two units of fluid because I was severely dehydrated, and then they hooked me up to a pain killer and called for back up to get me on a stretcher. Our home is shaped strangely, and there wasn't an easy way to remove me. With the pain medicine one man was able to get me to my feet while standing behind me, and before I passed out they were able to grab my legs and lift me from the tub. I barely remember being twisted and turned to be removed from the bathroom and our hallway before I was laid on a flexible stretcher, lifted by six men, and taken outside to the gurney. They carried me up the hill, to the ambulance, and then they decided to take me to the hospital that was 10 minutes away instead of taking me to the one that did my procedure. They told us we were being optimistic if we thought the D&C procedure had nothing to do with what I was going through.

We got to the emergency room and I heard them say I was bleeding internally. I heard I looked like a corpse. I heard I was going to need blood transfusions and surgery. It all happened so fast. I remember my husband standing over me and crying. I remember the doctor being angry because he couldn't get up with any of the people at the hospital that did my procedure. I remember having an ultrasound that they wouldn't let me look at. I remember lots of pain medicine that made me light headed. I remember the doctor coming in and saying I had an ectopic pregnancy and that my right fallopian tube had burst. They said I'd lost half of my body's blood content. Surgery needed to happen immediately. I remember people holding my hand and telling me it was going to be okay, but looking afraid and sad. Strangers and family. I was given two units of blood before surgery and one unit of blood during surgery.

After surgery my recovery was only supposed to take one hour, but it took four hours before I was released to a room and able to see my family. I had had a panic attack immediately upon leaving surgery and waking up. I remember being unable to breath and trying to remove my breathing mask before being knocked unconscious. When I was finally reunited with everyone all I could think was that I was so happy to be alive, and I just wanted to love everyone I saw. I slept a lot when I wasn't having my blood drawn or my vitals checked which felt like they were doing every hour on the hour. I had wires everywhere and three IV lines - one in each arm and one in my neck, and I wasn't even able to go to the bathroom on my own. My stomach still hurt and I found that I three incisions on my stomach where they performed laparoscopic surgery on me to drain the blood off my stomach and remove my right fallopian tube.The end of Monday was spent in relief and making sure I started to recover after my procedure. They were kind enough to give my husband a cot to sleep on in my room.

Tuesday I felt significantly better, but the doctor told me I still couldn't leave because my blood count and other vitals still were not as they should be despite how much better I felt. I had to have two more units of blood given to me bringing the total to five. Just for reference they told us that the human body holds only 8-10 units of blood. I had lost a lot of blood, and I had to stay another night to make sure I was in the clear and the bleeding had stopped completely. I was determined to get better and get out as soon as possible, though, so if they would let me do it I would. Starting with eating. At first I could only eat jello, but I managed to upgrade myself to proper soup before the night was out. I was so proud of myself. I had decided early on that I wasn't going to let this defeat me, but then again I'm a very stubborn individual.

Wednesday finally rolled around, and Wednesday was the day that they told me I could go home. I was so happy. You just don't understand how happy I was. Finally the wires were being removed, and finally I could start going to an actual bathroom, and I could get a shower. I still had to have help walking around, but I was moving. I even started eating more solid food. Granted that meant mashed potatoes and more soups, but my appetite was growing. At 6pm that evening they finally released me.

I've had a lot of visitors and gifts since I've come home, and lots of gifts. I'm supposed to be on six weeks of recovery rest. It's already been hard for me to just sit back and do nothing. I take my meds, and do light cleaning since I am permitted to walk around and I can do stuff as long as I don't lift anything weighing more than 10lbs. Every time I look at my husband I am so thankful that I am alive and can be with him for more time. I am heart broken that I lost the baby, but I have my life and we can try again. We are, however, quite angry at the clinic that told us I wasn't ectopic and didn't need the shot. That shot could have stopped all of this. It's frustrating, but at the same time part of me is glad that I went through this eye opening experience.

And that's what has been going on with me. I'm going to be okay, and once I reach a point where I'm not always falling asleep because of my medication I do hope to open up art commissions once more and start drawing again. I've missed all of you, and I hope you're doing well. Thanks to everyone who has stuck around even in my unexplained absence. You're awesome! :heart:

Love always and forever,
Destinie aka Venus
Ok, so lordpenguinman and I are celebrating 6 years of marriage tonight. Yeah, I know our anniversary isn't until tomorrow, but tonight seemed like a great time to celebrate. Patrick made the most amazing vegetarian spinach ricotta rotolo. OMG he's reminding me why I'm so happy I decided to start moving toward vegetarianism. That was pure heaven in my mouth. No seriously. Patrick is a freaking amazing chef guys. Seriously.

Also, I may have had a little too much 7 Deadly Zins Red Zinfandel. Phew... so tasty happy times.

I freaking adore and love my husband beyond belief.

Also, my husband has made dessert and he won't tell me what it is because it's a surprise but apparently he says it's amazing so I'm gonna believe him. MORE WINE COMING! White Zinfandel Moscato from Beringer.

It was so nice of Susan to give him extra cash and extra hours for work today so we could have a nice anniversary today. I'm gonna cry. ;3;

My Husband and I by TouchedVenus
Hello everyone! Thanks to all who participated in the forum HERE. New forum post should be up soon, but in the mean time be sure to check out all of these beautiful works!

Neglected Terrarium by Theanimalparade Red Bike by tantaku La bella principessa by DreamyNaria A mask, two wolves and spirits by CoyoDesign Mori by Theanimalparade Nr2 by enricocamerra Madonna by Rose-Pop Wine Bottle and Grapes by DivinoArtista Mechanical Cauldron by Bertross Whitney Houston by Rose-Pop Death Angel From Sky by tantaku Casey by PMucks Loki (marker drawing) by Quelchii Wyrnn The Bookwyrm - Commission by Bertross Emily by PMucks Red Owl Tribe by tantaku The swan by DreamyNaria Eternal Unrest by mechanicalvalkyrie Sailor Moon 2 by Thor-ium Krissy by PMucks Shingeki No Kyojin by tantaku Snow under a magical light by RobertoGatto Heavenly Wings by mechanicalvalkyrie Elyse Improved by Thor-ium Avengers sketch card by Quelchii How To Train Your Dragon 2 by tantaku 365daysofsketches - #33 by RobertoGatto Paper birds, a dragon and no face by CoyoDesign Nr1 by enricocamerra Loki - Into Eternity (drawing) by Quelchii

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:bulletred: 03. Weekly Art Feature
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I apologize if I seem cranky or uninterested to anyone. It's just me not taking care of myself again. Also, I'm not trying to ignore people, it's just I'm trying to stay focused on getting crap done. If you do need me for something or want to talk or hang out or anything, it's best to send me a direct message or I'll probably miss it. ^^;

I've been working so hard on art commissions and trying to get funding for the web comic that I've started letting my health suffer. That's not good. I am starting to see the signs because -

1. I've not been sleeping properly. Hours aren't consistent at all. Sometimes I get 5 hour. Sometimes I get 8 hours. Sometimes I get 0 hours. That's not good. It makes me a super moody lady when I don't get a regular 8-10 hour cycle.

2. I've not been eating properly. I go from eating hardly anything to binge eating sometimes because I'm so hungry I stop caring. I'm not doing it on purpose because I'll be the first person to tell you not to starve your dumb butt. I just get so wrapped up in what I'm doing I forget unless something reminds me. Or my sleep schedule messes up my eating schedule so I end up eating maybe once or twice for an entire day.

3. I've not been exercising at all, unless you want to count walking the dog casually a couple times a day and cleaning house for about an hour every day. I don't personally count that, though. Yeah I'm moving, but it's nothing rigorous. I need to get back to doing regular cardio and strength training or I'll never get my metabolism built back up. I'm so stagnant right now, and not even for physical reasons, but exercise has always been amazing mental therapy for me. It gets the good stuff flowing in my brain like it's supposed to. Yay happy brain juice!

4. While my anxiety issues aren't acting up quite as bad as they were at the end of 2014, they are still giving me issue and I know it's because of all of the above. When all of the above is in order then I have very little anxiety, depression, and anger problems.

I'm in a group with a couple other people where we keep each other accountable for our health. And I have lordpenguinman to keep me on my toes along with my notes on my computer and phone to remind me to do things.

I'm going to step back and breath a little today to get my head back on straight. Still working on stuff, but at a more casual pace before I have to pick up the pace again tomorrow.

At least I'm catching this earlier than usual before it becomes a full blown disaster. I've only been messing up for about 2 weeks instead of months.
Hello my lovelies!

Question and Answer Mondays are back! :D To recap how this works: every Monday I will give you a chance to present me any questions you've been dying to ask me. I don't care what it is, I'll answer it. You can ask me personal questions, art questions, silly questions, whatever. Just keep it tasteful, okay? I like to be a classy lady.

Alright 3.. 2.. 1.. GO!

:star: :iconterramarmsxiii: - Do you like novels? or reading in general?
:rose: :icontouchedvenus: - I absolutely love reading! It was my favorite past time growing up, so much so that I earned the nickname Bookworm from my grandmother. Out of all of her grandchildren that she gave money, I was the only one that would rather buy a novel than a toy.

:star: :iconkidariko: - If had any advice on making a good character for a lead hero what advice would you give? What you would tell the person to absolutely avoid?
:rose: :icontouchedvenus: - The best advice I can give for creating a lead hero in a story is to make absolutely sure that the character is someone that your target audience can relate to. This is vital especially if you want your story to be successful. If people can't relate to the main character on some level they usually lose interest very quickly. You also want to make sure that your character has positive AND negative traits. A character that is all one or overly loaded with one than the other becomes boring and/or annoying very quickly.

:star: :iconmandalorianknight: - If you had any place you wanted to visit, like fictional places or real places, where would you like to go to and why?
:rose: :icontouchedvenus: - Eorzea. Definitely Eorzea. Yeah there are monsters that would probably kill me and lots of scary crap is happening, but I swear if I could live in Eorzea that means I potentially can learn magic and then blast things and be a Final Fantasy hero for real. Finally. My dream come true. :XD: Also Eorzea is freaking gorgeous. :B As for real life, my husband and I have wanted to tour Europe for years.  Just haven't had the finances or proper timing to do so. :)

:star: :iconshadowrinxdt: - If your story Grimoire Rose was made into an anime someday, how many episodes do you think it will have? :)
:rose: :icontouchedvenus: - Hmm... I expect probably anywhere between 50 to 100. It's not a short story. :XD:

:star: :iconterramarmsxiii: - Um, do you think a story with angels and demons in it that takes a good lot of the christian mythos would be a bad thing? I know the hostility towards religion and i can see why it exists but I've really poured my heart into the story. I kinda don't want to give it up just because of people's view on religious doctrine, be it good or bad, I've written almost over 50 chapters and the story is going strong so...err....would you mind it or be offended?
:rose: :icontouchedvenus: - I do not think that would be a bad thing at all. I have seen quite a few successful stories that have done that. One example that keeps coming to my mind is "Angel Sanctuary", and recently I watched an anime called "The Devil is a Part Timer!" Both had interesting takes and stories that were founded in the Christian ideas of angels and demons, but they put their own twist to it. And even if you were taking a more positive approach to the Christian mythos I think it could be very good. People will always be forever captivated by the ideas of angels and demons. I think you should care less about what people will think because you'll never be able to please everyone and not everyone is going to like your story. That's just how it is. Focus on creating the story from your heart and sharing it. Focus on being happy with what you're doing. When we write for ourselves we tend to create our best works. :heart: