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SPARKcon is a delightfully artistic event that is held every year in my home city: Raleigh, North Carolina. My husband and I attend every year, though I have yet to actually participate. I hope that maybe next year I can. It's a great way to get exposure for your work as an artist/musician/actor. It's always so colorful and fun. I love it!

In any case, I thought you folks would enjoy some of the photos I took there today. :D

First off, photos of my husband and I from today:

tumblr nuxwbeLFaE1r6ejv9o1 540 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuy1f2jwTM1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxy5yqYf01r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuy0zeKozs1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuy13gt4VN1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus

Images of SPARKcon and some of the beautiful Chalkart done on the streets:

tumblr nuxy6woZcv1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxypamZoM1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxyqj8pYW1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxz7saVD41r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzbj3Swc1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzdud0Bt1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzf6DRGX1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzg9gSst1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus Tumblr Nuxzhzu2oq1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxznlVZHk1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzo1Q2bw1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzsk912L1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus Tumblr Nuxzv3ffs21r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzwz53lK1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzxfOqIm1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzzvcYhE1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuy00thSGO1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus

AND if you're in the mood for a very short humorous video, here is one on my tumblr that I took at the festival that you all may enjoy: HERE

It was an incredible time as it is every year, and I look forward to next year when maybe I will decide to participate myself. :D


Recent Art Favorites

Eternelle Angel by laverinne random OC by kirimatsu Elsa. Frozen by Prywinko I'm Looking For A Complication by LokiGoat Apple Chubs by FrogAndCog Rari Chubs by FrogAndCog Flutter Chubs by FrogAndCog Dash Chubs by FrogAndCog Twi Chubs by FrogAndCog Pink Chubs by FrogAndCog Derpy Chubs by FrogAndCog Sexy time by pinguinkepo

My Other Accounts

:rose: My Public Facebook
:rose: Tumblr: My Personal Life Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Art Blog
:rose: Tumblr: Grimoire Rose Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Singing Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Final Fantasy XIV Blog
:rose: My YouTube
:rose: My Twitter

I don't bite! Feel free to talk to me and/or ask questions. :heart:

Grimoire Rose - We're Back!

Grimoire Rose is back in business again. I’m also planning an event around the posting of the first pages of the comic. I will keep everyone updated, and I hope you will participate! If you have idea of what you’d like for an event, please let me know! I always appreciate the input of my followers. :)

Aside from the comic itself, I have two pictures that I am currently working on that are Grimoire Rose related. The first is the Masquerade picture you previously heard me talking about on this journal: Thank You!.

Second image I'm working on is inspired by Katy Perry's Dark Horse. You can watch the video below. 
This is one of the songs on the protagonist Sapphirine’s music inspiration playlist. :D I love my girl. <3 I am wanting to draw her in one of Katy Perry’s outfits from the video. Help me choose which outfit you want to see her show up in!

:star: The poll is HERE

Don't forget to join/watch the Grimoire Rose group, and if you draw any fan art please submit it there so that I can share your work! :heart:


Photoshop Brush Tutorial

A very helpful photoshop brush tutorial created by hibbary. If you're wanting to learn some photoshop digital art skills, this is a good one to know. :)

Photoshop Brush Tutorial by hibbary

Recent Art Favorites

Victoria Crowned Pigeon Chibi by hiyadollz BOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS!!! by Kibbitzer OC:: Nene by CookieHana Glass of beer under the zeppelin by DancingWitch One Winged Rabbit by Byakurin yian by jorsu nicci by jorsu The echoes of stories never told by Wish-UponAStar c:aumbrieones by jorsu

My Other Accounts

:rose: My Public Facebook
:rose: Tumblr: My Personal Life Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Art Blog
:rose: Tumblr: Grimoire Rose Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Singing Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Final Fantasy XIV Blog
:rose: My YouTube
:rose: My Twitter

I don't bite! Feel free to talk to me and/or ask questions. :heart:
Hey guys, I have finally finished organizing and updating all of my Tumblr blogs. Most of them I had to blow the dust off of and one of them is new! I want to keep things organized in regards to my blogs, and I do not wish to clog up people’s watch feeds with stuff they don’t care about. SO below are the blogs and what each of them are about. If you have a Tumblr, please follow the blogs that have what you’re interested in seeing from me because otherwise you won’t see that stuff on my Main Blog. :)

MAIN BLOG: I've had this one for a while, and it's the one I use the most. However, what I’m posting there is changing somewhat. Please only follow this blog if you’re interested in my personal life, my weight loss journey, healthy foods, healthy lifestyles, my dribble about my day to day frustrations and happiness, pictures of me, and silly/motivational/inspiring reblogs and/or posts.

MUSIC BLOG: As some of you know I am a singer on youtube. I don’t currently have any videos up because I removed all the old ones, and I’m starting fresh with proper recording equipment. If you’re interested in reading about my experiences in music, seeing music related reblogs, and getting tumblr reminders of new youtube videos from me, then please follow this blog and also please consider subscribing to my youtube channel HERE.

ART BLOG: Quite a bunch of you already follow my art blog, but if you don’t and you’re interested in seeing my artwork on Tumblr, then please follow this blog. Posts will include art related reblogs, my thoughts and experiences as an artist, my works in progress, my sketches/doodles, tips and tutorials, and completed works. Pretty much similar to what I already do on deviantART minus the WiPs and sketches/doodles, but I know some people prefer Tumblr. On this art blog, however, you will only see the art I do for others and fan art from my favorite fandoms. If you’re interested in seeing more personal artwork, please follow the next blog on my list. If you have a deviantART account, and aren't already watching, and you want to see all my work via here, please consider giving me a watch HERE.

GRIMOIRE ROSE BLOG: If you are interested in my personal art project, Grimoire Rose, I encourage you to follow this blog.  This is a  fantasy adventure webcomic/story project I’ve been working on with my husband for quite a while, and it’s getting a reboot. I will post concept art, sketches/doodles, finished pieces, the comic, my inspirations, and my thoughts and experiences while working on the project. Only my finished GR pieces go on deviantART. If you love dragons, elves, and all things fantasy, please consider following this blog and supporting this web comic project! <3 WARNING: There will be spoilers hidden under links. Click at your own discretion, but please do not spoil others who do not wish to be spoiled. Thanks! 

FFXIV BLOG: Do you play Final Fantasy XIV? Me too!! If you’re interested in seeing my darling Irryal and her husband Azrael as they gallivant across Eorzea, I would love for you to follow her blog. I will be posting in-game screenshots, spoilers will be marked as #ffxiv spoilers, and I will also reblog any FFXIV tumblr posts that I relate to or love.

And that’s it! Be sure to watch ALL blogs you are interested in following. I will rarely cross post from one blog to the other and they each have different content.

Thank you for reading, and I look forward to seeing you around!

MUAH! <3

Another example of how I have the best husband in the world. I started stressing out because I found out my parents are coming over today, and I woke up late. I also need to clean the house. It’s not horrifically messy or anything, but it needs to be tidyed up. I also hadn’t eaten anything at all yet and I get a little crazy if I don’t eat in a timely manner.

Next thing I know I’m starting to panic. He told me to eat the leftover banana peanut butter smoothie in the fridge… and then this happened:

HUSBAND: there’s a premade smoothie in the fridge
HUSBAND: just mix it with a spoon and go
ME: it attacked me ;3;
ME: I didn’t see your spoon message and I went to pour it in the blender and it exploded
ME: I have smoothie on my arm, face, and hands
HUSBAND: aww baby
HUSBAND: how’d it do that?
ME: I feel like I’m going to cry
ME: It exploded when it reached the bottom of the blender and came out
HUSBAND: Oh, it thunked out or something?
ME: more like splooshed, but I’m having chest tension and a headache
ME: I think I might be panicking
HUSBAND: It sounds like you are
HUSBAND: Most of the smoothie is still ok right?
ME: I guess
ME: I don’t know
ME: yes?
ME: I drank the half smoothie then panicked and ate a hunk of cake ;3;
HUSBAND: I understand you’re stressed and panicking
ME: I think I ate the smoothie and cake too fast …
HUSBAND: but I need you to mentally step away from the fact that it’s you this is happening to, and imagine that statement captioned to a cat wearing a sweatband and lying next to a tipped over smoothie glass and wallowing in cake


Sadfatcat by TouchedVenus

Okay… I’m done

I officially have stopped questioning the sources of my inspiration. The moments hit me at some odd times to be honest, but I am grateful for all I can get!

While listening to Joyce Meyer’s message for today, I caught myself thinking about Grimoire Rose. I found myself thinking about the relationships between specific characters, and I won’t go into details there since most people don’t know who are couples and who are not couples in my story, and I like surprises.

I’m going to write and publish this blasted thing one day. I swear I am.

I will discuss Sapphirine, though, since she is the “Hero” of my story. Sapphirine isn’t perfect. She never has been in my mind. In fact, it is impossible for her to be perfect because Sapphirine is in essence ME. 

Sapphirine doubts herself often, and has a deep sadness inside of her because of events that have happened in her life. She also suffers from anxiety, which is why she is often guarded around other people. 

But I believe those who suffer from sadness and anxiety can feel driven to want to be better and do good things, because we don’t want others to suffer as we have.

I want Sapphirine to be an embodiment of someone coming out of a horrible situation as a better individual than they were at the start. I want people to read about her struggles with depression and anxiety. I want people to see her fight it and gain hope for her and themselves. I want this to be a story about hope and believeing and never giving up. I want this to be a story about how change is not impossible, and there IS a light at the end. I want to explore the dark and the light inside everyone, and how it can be used to help a person grow. 

This is what I want from Grimoire Rose.

Yes, she will have to overcome fantastical odds in a fantasy world filled with creatures and situations that no one in our world will ever encounter, but I can make those situations similar at least and draw connections from her world to ours.

Even if no one else enjoys this story, I need to do it. If for no one else, then I must do it for myself.

As many of my followers know, I have not been doing well the past three weeks. In fact I gained back 3 lbs over the three weeks because I kept making bad decisions for my health, and I let depression steer me around.

I want to share a conversation I had with my husband this morning during a down moment, because I hope his words of wisdom can help someone as much as they help me:

ME: Alright, I made my plan of action for today, and I’m getting started.
HUSBAND: rock on!
ME: Alrighty, took the dog out and he peed everywhere and pooped. I’ve also eaten, drank a glass of water, made green tea, and I’m working on a second glass of water. I also took my vitamins.
ME: Now I’m going to watch Joyce Meyer
HUSBAND: You go girl! <3
ME: lawl, you sound like a sassy girlfriend
HUSBAND: I’m just really proud of you <3
ME: For what? ^^;
HUSBAND: For understanding what you need to do to get back on track, and doing it!
ME: I don’t feel like what I’m doing is something to be proud of, though. It’s what I should be doing, and it’s not anything special. It’s what a normal person does.
HUSBAND: It might be what you feel a normal person should be doing, but we both know many many people that don’t
HUSBAND: And more importantly, it’s moving forward for us
ME: Doing what you’re supposed to do isn’t considered something to be proud of by most…
HUSBAND: The people who don’t think having a stable and progressively positive home life is something to be proud of are either jealous because theirs isn’t or they are completely jaded people who should go away
HUSBAND: For example, we should be happy for and proud of someone when they get a stable job and stay sober.  Sure, those are things they’re supposed to do, but those two things are very difficult for some people and would be a pretty big turn of their life to accomplish.
ME: I love you
HUSBAND: I love you too! So very, very much! <3


After that conversation it hit me, belittling the accomplishments of others no matter how big or small they are is wrong. We also shouldn’t do it to ourselves. For someone like me who suffers daily with depression and anxiety, doing “normal” activities that would improve my life are a success.

I am working to take back control of my health, and get my mind in a good place. That’s something not everyone in my state of mind has been able to break through. I have to take every day one step at a time and focus really hard on each task to keep my mind from wandering and crashing, but every day I work for it the easier it gets.

I am starting to believe that one day I can be free from depression and anxiety. I really am.

So, I didn't come online much at all yesterday because I was super busy being out and about with friends. Started the day off at the Greek Festival held a the Fairgrounds. My husband (lordpenguinman) and I met up with lilbit075 and another friend of ours. It was a great time and the food and music were quite nice. I do believe the Greek Frappe was my favorite thing, though. X3 Below is a picture of us girls taken by my wonderful hubby-kins.

Me at the Greek Festival with Friends by TouchedVenus

After that my husband and I rushed to pick up my girl Jess's birthday cake and the key to her apartment from the Bakery. Her husband-to-be wanted us to get it and decorate the apartment for a surprise party while he was keeping her out and about and distracted. LOL We also had my husband's sister (theotherkirby) with us to help decorate.

Here is the cake she got:

Steven Universe: Garnet Birthday Cake by TouchedVenus

Awesome, right!? It's Garnet from the tv show Steven Universe for those unfamiliar with the character and show. Jess is a big fan. The cake flavor was pistachio and amazing. X3 We also brought some bean dip and corn chips, and my husband made dango which is one of Jess's favorite treats that she often requests from us. LOL

After we finished decorating the house with pink balloons and streamers everywhere, we left the house and joined Mark and Jess and some other friends for dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant called Sitti. They have quite tasty food there. Jess thought that was her surprise having a bunch of people dining with her at one of her favorite restaurants, and she wasn't expecting there to be a surprise at her home. XD

We snuck out of the restaurant a little early and got back to the their home in order to unlock it and let in more guests. We all hid up the stairs in the dark. When Jess arrived we all jumped out and turned the lights on. She was very very happily surprised. :D And we had a good time chatting, eating, drinking, and watching crazy stuff on youtube like Markiplier playing the fourth installment of Five Nights At Freddy's. That game always makes me jump out of my skin.

This morning I had a little bit of a rough start because I haven't been feeling well overall. I've been pushing through because I don't like dragging down those around me, but this morning all of what I'd been holding back kind of slapped me in the face. BUT my husband is amazing, and he gave me lots of hugs and kisses, bought me some sushi (favorite food ever), and then made me this delicious pumpkin spice coffee!

Pumpkin Spice Yum! by TouchedVenus

Costa Rican coffee, nutmeg, cinnamon, pumpkin spice, and unsweetened vanilla almond milk, no additional sweetener needed.

Hubby just made this for me in the espresso machine.

Yeah, I’m ready for Autumn.

Speaking of Autumn, the weather is finally cooling off, and I'm super excited. Ermagherd, my birthday is next month! :O We currently have the porch doors open, and I'm just sitting here checking my messages on deviantART while listening to the sounds of nature and enjoying the cool breeze. So nice!

Things aren't always perfect, but moments like this let me know that everything is going to be alright.


Help us get to Montana - Print Sale! by KatieHofgard

KatieHofgard and her boyfriend are trying to pay for a trip to Montana to see his grandfather who is dying from liver cancer. You can buy prints from her etsy shop to help fund the trip. If you don't have the money to spare, please help out by spreading the word. :heart:

For More Information, Click The Above Image

I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who reached out to me when I was going through a hard time yesterday. It meant a lot to me, and I did feel encouraged to keep going. You guys are awesome. :heart:

In fact, I actually had a stroke of inspiration today! We'll see what happens, but I have an idea for a picture of two of my characters from Grimoire Rose in a masquerade situation. I'm taking some inspiration from Labyrinth since it's one of my all time childhood favorite films. I'm hoping that I'll be able to enter the image into Fantasy-Arts's CONTEST. I have until November 10th to get an entry in, so crossing my fingers that my motivation to work on this will continue. This is the most artistic motivation I've had in a while so I'm going to jump on it.

Wish me luck! :D

And for those who have never seen "Labyrinth" you need to watch it! :heart: It might be on Netflix. :XD: In any case, here is the lovely video of "As The World Falls Down" which I'm using for inspiration. Also... mmm mmm mmmm David Bowie! :love:


These are the beautiful images I discovered today. I hope that you will enjoy them as well! <3

+Afternoon Rose Tea+ by larienne AT: Oren by 9dl +The Little Mermaid - Part of Your World+ by larienne +Tale as Old as Time+ by larienne +Midsummer in Lilac Forest+ by larienne +The Last Unicorn+ by larienne +Sophie and Calcifer+ by larienne AT: Toki by bertalh

These are the beautiful images I discovered today. I hope that you will enjoy them as well! <3

Yuffie Colorised by Artgerm Aerith Gainsborough Colorised by Artgerm Cup A Joe by lilbit075 Commission for TheKelol by PaolaPieretti +Bring It On ! + by goku-no-baka Aerith by Kuvshinov-Ilya Lapis Lazuli by EcheauxBat Mystery novels. by MoonlightYUE Peachy by sakimichan Commission for Blood-Animal by Harumagai Night Elf by Harumagai Commission for SilverAngel907 by Harumagai I'm Lapis Lazuli by Misutore01 COM: Yuclea by Misutore01 Edea Lee: Valkyrie by Misutore01 Blinking Mikasa by KirasElixir Inuyasha + Kagome Chibi by KirasElixir Chibi Kikyo by KirasElixir Sailor Moon by KirasElixir

I'm going to start taking half an iron pill daily. I have made the observation that when I stopped taking the iron, my energy levels plummeted. With low energy levels comes my depression. While I was on the iron pill my energy levels were more stable, but I did show symptoms of iron overload, so I stopped taking them. I’m going to give the 1/2 a pill of iron a shot instead of the whole pill and see what happens.

I’ve also decided to increase my SAM-e consumption to two pills a day instead of one. You can take up to four daily, but they tell you to monitor your moods and decide accordingly whether an increase should be made or not. I’ve been on the one pill for a long while now, so I’m going to increase it to two and see if the depression is easier to handle. I know if I’m not operating better at four then I absolutely need to go back to the doctor.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I just... I just want to be healthy and be able to think and be productive. I do not want depression. I do not want anxiety. It’s not fun. It’s not glamorous. It’s a hindrance to my life, and I want it gone.

Also, I want you all to know that I have been reading your responses to my last journal entry. Your words are very kind and they touch me greatly. Thank you. I will try to respond individually later, but I don't want anyone to think I'm ignoring them when I'm not. Just trying to get my head on straight first.

I forced myself to eat some leftover veggie chili since I hadn't eaten all day and it's after 2pm. I have a hard time eating when I get like this. I'm also taking medicine for this cold that has hit me hard, and I'm making myself drink more water since I haven't consumed any liquid today. I also made myself some tea, and I've been talking to my husband over skype while he's at work. He keeps sending me silly pictures trying to make me laugh.

I know I'll be okay. I just have to keep fighting it.

--Destinie :rose:
I want to draw, and I want to work on Grimoire Rose… but I keep thinking that I suck at drawing and the story is a waste of time and no one will like it…

I haven’t drawn anything in over a month… what am I doing with my life?

I get moments of inspiration, but my husband has been the only one really pushing me it feels. I feel like a shadow of what I used to be on deviantART, and I was never anything on Tumblr or anywhere else.

I don’t like it… I don’t like feeling like I have failed again... and again… and again…

If I could just do something and it be successful, maybe that would snap me out? I don’t know. My desire for perfection kills everything, and I’ve tried so many different stupid techniques to reset my brain. I’m losing heart and getting worse everyday…

Sorry to those that are waiting on artwork from me. I have failed you. I have failed myself. There is no good excuse. I'm just depressed and obsessed with perfection. If it can't be perfect then I won't do it because I have been rejected and kicked to the curb so much I just can barely take it anymore.

Whine Whine Whine
Complain Complain Complain
Moan Moan Moan

No one wants to hear this shit. I'm disappearing for a bit... I sound like a stupid teenager and I'm almost 31 years old....

Just checking in on everyone. Tell me how you've been and what you've been up to! Do you need anything? Have any questions? Just let me know. :D



Hey guys!

I thought you might be interested in knowing a status update on Tenebrae. He seems the same to be honest. He still isn't eating like he should, and it does concern me. We gave him the medicine prescribed by the doctor for a week, and Monday he went in for more tests on Monday. We're currently waiting to hear back on the results. We were supposed to hear back yesterday, but we haven't so we are going to be calling today to prod for information. Please continue to keep my fur baby in your prayers. He acts normal other than the lack of eating, but he's a lot thinner than he should be.

For those just coming in on this issue, please read my prior journals for more info:

:bulletred: My Cat Is Very Sick
:bulletred: Update on Cat + Depression + Getting Healthy

Other than that I've just been continuing to concentrate on getting my health back on track. I am currently halfway through my fifth week of my healthy lifestyle change. I've lost 11 lbs, my skin is super clear and has a nice glow to it, and while I still fight with my depression and anxiety issues they are much easier to manage now. I'm also gaining more endurance through interval cardio training 3 times a week. I also do a casual walk twice a week and have two rest days. We haven't added in strength training yet, but it's coming soon. We just got the back room cleaned up where we will have room to weight train. I look forward to adding this into my routine.

And that's the biggest news I have for you so far. So how have you been? Please tell me what's been going on with you lately below! I'd love to hear from you! :D



Update On My Cat

Just in case some people were wondering from my last update, here is more on Tenebrae's situation:

Patrick (my husband) heard from the Vet Friday morning about working out a payment plan, and they are willing to work with us on making payments. I was able to move funds around, so we will be able to pay for Tenebrae’s medical bills.

Tenebrae’s ultrasound was done this morning and is complete. They found he has cholangitis - inflammation of the bile ducts. This is most likely caused by bacteria and he has been prescribed antibiotics to take for the next week.

Next Monday we will have another round of blood tests done to check his enzyme levels and see how he is doing. If the levels have not gone down, they will add an anti-inflammatory to his prescription and check again after another week. 

Please continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers. :heart:

Fighting Depression

Those who have watched me for a long amount of time know that I suffer from clinical depression and anxiety. My depression has been raising up it’s ugly head for the past couple days. The whole thing with Tenebrae hasn’t been helping. I’m fighting it tooth and nail. Today, I must say that I am doing better than I was a couple days ago.

I know part of the problem is my sleep. I thought 8 hours would be enough, but I seem to have been wrong there. Going to try 9 hours and see if there is an improvement. I hate losing time during the day, but I know if I get rested I will operate better and be more successful. I’ve overslept six days in a row, however, and that let’s me know something is up.

I have continued to eat healthy and make healthy food choices when I’m out and can’t cook. I did, however, only exercised three days last week because of time issues and my oversleeping. We did start off this week by hitting the trail today, and we began week 2 of our 5k training because exercising makes noticeable differences in my ability to control stress and depression.

I don’t want to fail. I’ve failed so many times in so many things because my depression and anxiety stripped me down to nothing. I won't let them defeat me this time. I can’t afford to keep losing the battle.

I just know that if I can win the battle with my health… then I will finally be able to start trying to win the battle with my art and with my music. But my health has to be in a good place or I am going to mess up.

I guess I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has been patiently waiting for me to get on the art train again. I just feel that getting my physical, mental, and spiritual health in order is the most important thing I can do for myself right now.

Weight Loss and Health Improvements

I can definitely tell that I'm losing weight. Clothes are getting looser, and on some of my pants I almost need a belt! My husband and I are also getting a lot faster in our morning walks / runs. We're clearing a little over 2 miles in 34 minutes now.

So far I've lost a total of 10-lbs in three weeks, and my husband has lost 11-lbs in three weeks. We're on a roll! As I mentioned in the last section, we've also started Week 2 of our 5k Marathon Training. We're going to rock that obstacle course in November! Going to be bringing in some strength training this week as well. :D

Photo Time!

Just some pictures of me, my husband, my family, and some friends from the past 3 days.

:bulletred: Hubby and I Being Goofy Before A Run
:bulletred: Bat Woman!
:bulletred: My Parents And Their Harley Davidson Tri Glide
:bulletred: Me Looking Good And Feeling Good
:bulletred: Bride and Bridesmaids - My friend Jess (in green) is getting married next June! :heart:

Some Inspiration and Motivation From Tumblr

Below are some things that I reblogged on tumblr that I found very inspiring and motivating. I hope they will help you as well. :heart:

:bulletred: #1 :bulletred: #2 :bulletred: #3 :bulletred: #4 :bulletred: #5 :bulletred: #6 :bulletred: #7 :bulletred: #8 :bulletred: #9 :bulletred:

In Closing / Summary

:bulletred: Tenebrae is finally on the road to recovery we hope.
:bulletred: While I still get depressed, I know what I need to do to help it out, so I'm taking those steps.
:bulletred: I've lost 10-lbs! Yay! And I feel better health-wise.

I hope that you are all doing very well, and please feel free to comment and chat. I love talking with my watchers. :heart:

Thanks for stopping by!




Tenebrae is Sick

For those that are new to my page or haven't been here very long, Tenebrae is my Maine Coon Cat. You can see recent pictures of him on my tumblr HERE and HERE.

If you follow my tumblr, you'll know that Tenebrae went to the vet today because we found worms in his stool and he hasn't been eating properly. He does eat, but very very little. He also hides and sleeps a lot more than normal.

This morning after his visit I wrote the following:

"The Vet is doing a full bloodwork in addition to the dewormer. The weight loss he had from stress and not eating really concerned them. If it’s nothing, then they at least have a good baseline for future visits. If it’s something, well he’s a cat and they tend not to physically show symptoms early.

Bloodwork should be back on Saturday, and he should be okay for now. The vet gave us some meds for him and want us to try to increase the amount of wet food he is eating.

Other than the worms and a little redness on his gumline, he is in excellent condition."

Well we just heard from the veterinarian this evening, because they got some of Tenebrae’s bloodwork back.

There are elevated enzymes in his liver and gallbladder. The vet doesn’t know how this happened since he’s an inside cat and the only other cat he plays with is Moz (my sister-in-law's cat) who is also an inside cat. They won’t know more until they get the rest of his bloodwork back on Saturday.

Most likely he has a liver infection, or a gallbladder infection. Less likely, but still on the table, is liver cancer. They want to do an ultrasound on him on Monday that will cost $300 we don’t have to give at the moment. That doesn’t include potential biopsy fee or medication or anything else.

We’re trying to see if the vet will allow us to pay them via a payment plan. 

I love Tenebrae dearly, and I’m doing my best to keep a cool logical head about all of this. I’ll let everyone know when we know more, but in the mean time please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. He's my precious fur baby.

Personal Life - My Health Improvement Journey

In more lighthearted news, I have lost a total of 8lbs since my husband and I recently increased how much we work out and converted to being Ovo-Lacto Pescatarians. This means we eat mostly plant-based meals, but we still eat seafood, eggs, and dairy. I've also cut gluten out of my diet since I show signs of gluten sensitivity and there has been a tremendous difference in my health. We don't eat seafood, eggs, and dairy except on special occasion maybe once a week at most. I feel the best I've felt in years, and I don't need to rely on caffeine for energy. It's fantastic.

The other thing we're doing is training for a 5k Obstacle Course in November. We love participating in Marathons and Obstacle courses. Obstacle courses are especially fun for me because I feel like my inner child is coming out to play. When I was a youngin' I loved to run around and climb things pretending I was a warrior princess here to save the day. LOL It's great to have an outlet for that side of me as an adult, and it makes exercising fun.

To train we've been using the Zombie, Run app, specifically the Couch to 5k Training one. I've done the regular Zombie, Run app before, and it's a lot of fun. It feeds the gamer girl in me. I mean come on, who doesn't want to be ready for the zombie apocalypse? #1 Rule to survive is cardio! :D But yeah, treating fitness like a game was one of the best things I ever could do for myself. I NEED to level up! :heart:

I did make a mistake with my health, though. It has now been remedied. I foolishly continued taking my extra iron supplement (it was for the anemia I had from my hospital stay) with my multi-vitamin after we had increased the amount of iron-rich foods we ate. This caused me to have a bit too much iron in my system, so I ended up getting sick. Thankfully I know enough about vitamins, nutrition, and how bodies react to them to notice the warning signs. All I had to suffer with was two days of sickness to allow my body to get rid of the excess and then I was good to go. That is much better than a potential hospital visit, which being an adult it's less likely that I would have to go the hospital for a minor iron overload. Children on the other hand should be rushed to the hospital immediately.

In any case, I am much better now! And in non-health related news.... we're painting our bathroom! It's going to be pretty when we're done: IN PROGRESS PICTURE

And if you want to see, here are new pictures of moi that were taken since the last post. I typically post this kind of stuff regularly on tumblr:

:bulletred: Dog Interruption!
:bulletred: Rainy Day
:bulletred: All Natural

Final Fantasy XIV

And lastly, in Final Fantasy world:

:bulletred: I now have all of my gear from the Alexander Normal raid. You can see pictures of my black mage HERE
:bulletred: Then I let my inner Katy Perry show for Moonfire Faire because Baby You're A Firework
:bulletred: And lastly, I finally have my Esoterics Weapon!

I play Final Fantasy XIV on the Excalibur server, so if you play and you're there come and say hello when I'm online! My character name is Irryal Nocturne. :)

In Closing

And that's the update on what's been going on in my life over the past four days since I last updated. What have you guys been up to? :)




So, I realized it's been almost two weeks since I've updated my journal, and I should probably let you guys know what's going on. I promise I'll try to be better about updating in the future. :XD: On to the updates!!

Art Status

I have been really busy lately! I have been focusing on healing my body, mind, and soul mostly. I've also been doing a personal study on business management in my free time, working on a big music project, taking care of my mother when she was in the hospital, and being a secretary for my husband while we get some financial things taken care of (because we finally can! Thanks for the thoughts and prayers!).

Due to this I have refunded the commissions that I had not worked on and contacted the buyers. Commissions are closed, and I do not know when or if they will be open again. It just depends on how things play out over the coming months.

I want to get my health completely in order and focus on my music and current art list before adding on more work. I don't currently have a deadline for when things will get done, but I'm slowly getting things in very good order and taking one day at a time. Things are moving forward and it feels great. I can only hope it stays this way.

I will be keeping you guys updated on how things are going! Promise. :D

Singing On YouTube - Work In Progress

As I mentioned in my last posts, I now have proper recording equipment. My husband bought me a really nice microphone and microphone stands so that I can start doing better quality recordings of my singing that I can post on youtube. Before all I had to use was a crappy headset or my phone. Talk about static! LOL I've been wanting to do this for years, but we weren't able to get the equipment until now. I'm super excited about it.

My husband controls all the recording, and all I have to do is show up to the mic and sing. We're still in the testing phase, however. I've done recordings of a few songs, and he's been checking the audio and playing with things in Adobe Audition. Songs we've been recording are:

:bulletred: "Melodies of Life" from Final Fantasy 9
:bulletred: "Kiss Me Goodbye" from Final Fantasy 12
:bulletred: "Dragonsong" from Final Fantasy 14

I look forward to when I'll actually be able to share them! I hope you'll check them out when they're available. :D

Final Fantasy XIV

As some of you know, I play the online game Final Fantasy XIV, and I absolutely love it. When Heavensward came out I used a fantasia and changed from an elezen into an au'ra. I couldn't make up my mind how I wanted the au'ra to look, though, and I made a whole lot of different models. Finally my husband and I have decided on a look for her! (Thank goodness)

:bulletred: You can see how she looked on my Facebook when I first made her here in her pre-Moonfire Faire glamour: HERE! Look in the comments to see two more screenshots of her.
:bulletred: A picture of Irryal waiting on the Duty Roulette: Expert queue HERE
:bulletred: Her new glamour for Moonfire Faire with the new bathing suit and a lovely sun hat: HERE (another picture in the comments)
:bulletred: And I finally got my adamantoise mount! So here is Irryal riding and cheering: HERE

My Health

Back in May of this year, people may recall that I was hospitalized due to a pregnancy that went wrong. The pregnancy was ectopic in my right Fallopian tube, and the tube burst causing me to nearly bleed to death. I had to have surgery and I lost half of my body's blood in the process. Thankfully I'm alive and here today healing quite well. The entire episode was tragic, but it happened and I can't change that. What I can do is move forward.

It took me a lot longer to recover from what happened than I had hoped. I didn't start feeling normal again until July. I also realized that I would have recovered physically faster had I been in better shape, so I decided to take back the reigns on of my life.

I took a nutrition class a couple years ago, and I've kept up my studies on nutrition since then. Just recently my husband has been making enough money that we can start living based off my knowledge. We've removed all meat except seafood from our diet (neither of us really crave meat anyway) and have moved to a mostly vegetarian/vegan lifestyle. We've been eating like this for two weeks and I feel better than I have ever felt in my life. I mean my mind is even starting to heal, and I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression and anxiety when I was 18 years old (12 years ago). 

We also run/walk every morning, and we're currently doing 5k training and will be participating in an obstacle course in November.

I'm losing weight, and I have energy and a clearer mind that I haven't had in quite a while. It's refreshing. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I'm heading in that direction and having fun along the way. And when we're ready to try again for another baby, I know I'll be more confident and able to take on any challenges that face me.

Update on My Mother

My mother was in the hospital just recently because of a suspected light heart attack. It ended up being something else, but even still it was scary. We're glad she's back home now, and I just got off the phone with her today. She's been resting like the doctor told her to, and she sounds so much better. I would still love for you all to continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayers, though. I need her healthy!

New Pictures of Me

And if you really want to see some pictures of my, my husband, and our fur babies, these are the most recent on Facebook:

:bulletred: Crazy Morning Hair
:bulletred: My adorable pomeranian and pictures of the trail we run every morning
:bulletred: Me Drinking Morning Juice
:bulletred: Kyuubi, my pomeranian, looking guilty that he's back in bed again, and on my side for that matter!
:bulletred: Me looking pretty and holding Kyuubi
:bulletred: Me and My Awesome Pink Penguin Pants
:bulletred: My husband and Kyuubi - ROTTEN!
:bulletred: Me Grocery Shopping, LOL
:bulletred: Me with another Morning Juice
:bulletred: Me looking good yesterday before going to cheer on my husband at his Malifaux Tournament
:bulletred: My husband posing with his award since he won first place in the Malifaux Tournament. I'm a lucky charm! <3
:bulletred: Me Today Being A Super Goofball
:bulletred: Lastly, my husband versus a coconut


In Closing

I've had a lot going on in the past two weeks since I've updated last. Lots of good things thankfully, and I'm super thankful for everyone who has recently joined in watching my account or who has stayed through thick and thin. You guys are awesome! Thanks!

Talk to you all later! MUAH!




We've already done some test runs. I'm super happy about this. My husband is still fiddling with the equipment, but hopefully something will be on youtube sooner than later. :D




For those that were unaware, I've been with my mother off and on for the past little bit. She's been sick, and we finally got her to the hospital on Monday. Initially we thought she had had a heart attack, but it seems it was something else.

I talked directly to the doctor.

There is no muscle damage or evidence of a heart attack based on all the tests they have performed. However, they aren't entirely sure what happened. Her doctor suspects that it was an artery spasm, but the team of doctors at the hospital are continuing to look over her case.

In better news, the stint they put in mom's heart during her last hospital visit is doing excellent. Her heart has improved from 40% function to 60% function, and overall her heart is looking better. The doctor also said her kidneys are improving.

The doctor states he isn't going to do the heart catheterization or anything else. My mother turns 69 this year, and the procedures are too risky. Also her continued improvement makes him not want to take those risks.

Mom should be going home today unless something comes up. The doctor wants her to stay home and rest, and he wants her to be watched closely for the next couple weeks.

Also, the Doctor said next time she needs to come to emergency and not wait to try to get in contact with him. He still wants her to call him, but if they can't get him to call the hospital and talk to another cardiologist.

And that's about it for now. Please continue to keep her in your prayers. :heart:


I currently have 21 items on my to do list that need to be completed. Six of those items are commissions, and they will be taking priority. Due to how hectic things have been recently, my schedule has gotten shot all to pieces so things are still a little wonky on the time things will be completed, but definitely well before the end of August on the commissions. I have to close commissions again, unfortunately, to allow me to catch up. Once things are stable I will open them again. Thanks for being understanding, and thank you to those who have helped out.


In other news.... guess what will be coming to a youtube channel near you?!