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I’ve spent the last hour and a half doing a listing exercise for inspiration that I read off a NaNoWriMo guide. Basically it’s going through all the novels/comics/movies/etc that I love and writing down what I loved about them and why, or what I wish was different/how I think it should have been handled. Supposedly this is a good exercise to figure out what you want and don’t want in your story. Kind of helps you notice themes, too. 

I seem to absolutely love stories about saving the world from darkness, but you find that there is no white or black… it’s gray. Stories where difficult decisions suck and can have a powerful effect on the hero and their companions negative or positive. I also seem to love stories that show evil characters aren’t born but instead made by the environment, and how a hero has to struggle against that. 

I also seem to really love characters that have one or more of the following traits give or take, mix and match:

+ Theatrical personality / flamboyant
+ Insanity
+ Masked / Secretive
+ Trickster / Prankster / Fox-like Characters
+ Sarcastic / Comically Blunt
+ Has a dark past they try to ignore/don’t want to talk about/or just don’t want to involve others in/personal vendettas
+ Good person converted to Evil because of something tragic / Redeemable
+ Rough on the outside, but soft on the inside

This has been a very interesting exercise. I will admit that.

My Most Recently Finished Artworks

The Fox Man by TouchedVenus Chat Noir by TouchedVenus FF14: Trick or Treat 2015 by TouchedVenus Commission - Lucien Bust by TouchedVenus Commission - Madam Widow Bust by TouchedVenus

My Other Accounts

:rose: My Public Facebook (I have a private one too, but I'd rather keep it for very close friends/family - thank you for understanding)
:rose: Tumblr: My Journal / Pictures / Random Fandom Obsessing Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Art Blog
:rose: Tumblr: Grimoire Rose Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Singing Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Final Fantasy XIV Blog
:rose: My YouTube
:rose: My Twitter
:rose: My Instagram

I don't bite! Feel free to talk to me and/or ask questions. :heart:


Let’s see… staying up all night since I slept 13 hours. Hubby even made me coffee just in case. He’s a doll, and I’m glad he understands my muse doesn’t wake up until darkness falls.

Once I get on a proper roll with things, I do plan to fix this bizarre sleep/wake pattern I’m in, but for now if it’s making me produce content instead of sitting around like a zombie and being depressed… then so be it.

Plans for tonight:
1- Work on silly Lunarre picture some more
2- Work on Grimoire Rose some more
3- Potentially work on Lunarre x Rose picture
4- Try to stay focused!

Also, it’s officially my husband’s birthday now. <3 So everyone, please go wish :iconlordpenguinman: Happy Birthday for me. :heart: Here is some of his photography, too. I'm trying to encourage him to get on more. Help a girl out!
Cuddles! by lordpenguinman Der Klein Engel by lordpenguinman Spring, Harbinger of Allergies by lordpenguinman

Also I have a conundrum: I want to listen to my music aaaaand the rain, but since people are sleeping I have to choooooose. Ugh. I suppose I'm just going to acquiesce and listen to the Tales of Zestiria soundtrack. It's so pretty. In particular I've been enjoying this song the most recently:

The music from this game is so damn good. I've ended up loving the game in general more than I realized. It's fantastic. When I'm done drawing these Lunarre related pictures I'm hoping to do a bunch of the characters as chibis. X3

Also... I’m re-writing the ending to Grimoire Rose AGAIN… God help me. One day I’ll be satisfied with where I want this story to go. One day….

Taking the time to study a bunch of story writing links I’ve saved over forever. I have more of these saved than I realized. LAWL I’m already feeling more confident about making this change, though. I know my story will never be perfect, but damn it I don’t want to make the same mistakes others have made if I can avoid it, and I want this to be damn good.

Development is so crucial, and if I don’t know what I want my end result to be how on earth can I make sure the characters reach it. I have zero intent to have them wander aimless. That bores that shit out of me.

At least I know somewhat what I want and who is involved. That’s something. Now to figure out the details.

My Most Recently Finished Artworks

The Fox Man by TouchedVenus Chat Noir by TouchedVenus FF14: Trick or Treat 2015 by TouchedVenus Commission - Lucien Bust by TouchedVenus Commission - Madam Widow Bust by TouchedVenus

My Other Accounts

:rose: My Public Facebook (I have a private one too, but I'd rather keep it for very close friends/family - thank you for understanding)
:rose: Tumblr: My Journal / Pictures / Random Fandom Obsessing Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Art Blog
:rose: Tumblr: Grimoire Rose Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Singing Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Final Fantasy XIV Blog
:rose: My YouTube
:rose: My Twitter
:rose: My Instagram

I don't bite! Feel free to talk to me and/or ask questions. :heart:
So, I'm like super enamored with this tv show right now, and I can't wait for it to come to the US in December on Nickelodeon! I've been watching the Korean episodes subbed. I remember when they first started talking about this show and posting promos for it over a year ago and I got so excited. I'm glad it's finally here! Sad they didn't go anime style like they showed off in the 2D promo video, but the 3D animation is still super cute, fun, and expressive. But you can see the english trailer below:

:star: And here is an awesome art feature to entice you! [Chat Noir is my fave charrie if you haven't guessed yet, though. LOL]

rise before you fall by GardenofSpice Chat Noir by Majime Miaou by Majime Miraculous Ladybug and Chat Noir by megounetteUnmasked by BekaVujic miraculous ladybug by KazeAi7 miraculous ladybug by mintycanoodles Chat Noir by TouchedVenus Miraculous Ladybug Sketches by chocowaffle Miraculous Lady Bug - Cat Noir by rasenth Marinette Cheng by Jiayi DO I RLLY NEED TO PUT A TITLE by GardenofSpice Miraculous Ladybug by edikken Miraculous Ladybug by stuffaeamade Miraculous Ladybug- Chat Noir by toyarave Miraculous Ladybug by DevilzMoon Ask Miraculous Ladybug by BekaVujic Miraculous Ladybug by Jabbym Fanart: the miraculous Ladybug by MerryAyperos Miraculous Bubble by Dark-Momento-Mori Miraculous! by Dice9633 Miraculous Ladybug by MimiMarieT Miraculous Ladybug by meodwarf Miraculous Ladybug by kazutera Miraculous Ladybug by KleeKay423 Miraculous Ladybug by xen1231 ladybug by GardenofSpice Miraculous LadyBug: Cat Noir by kumadi Ladybug - Black Cat by SoloAzume Miraculous Ladybug! by toritama

:star: For more art check out these Miraculous Ladybug Groups:

:iconladybugfans: :iconmiraculous-ladybug: :iconmiraculous-community: :iconmiraculousladybug:

:star: If you want to watch the show before it hits your country, you can actually watch the english subbed episodes here: (they do more than just english!)

Just make sure you support the show when it airs in your location by watching it on tv that way they get good ratings and will continue the show. Also the Director/Creator of Miraculous Ladybug has said if the 3D show does well in Europe/America there is a high chance for the 2D anime to be made with focus on a slighty older audience (kid viewer vs teen viewer). :D (Big Grin)

I promised a feature to the lottery winners of the September Lottery held over at :iconepicocs: and here it is! I hope you enjoy. :D

Male Dragon (Headshot) by KiaraJewel Female Dragon (Headshoot) by KiaraJewel Elemental Carnival (Spin-off cover) by KiaraJewel Our ponysonas by KiaraJewel We are different by KiaraJewel   

Neyla by darcycooper Carmelita and Abby by darcycooper An upgrade by darcycooper You look familiar.... by darcycooper Books. by darcycooper

A Perfumed New OC by Kobwa Unicorn Rider by Kobwa 

Mature Content

Wild Party Contest by Kobwa
 I'm Gonna Burn Them Down ! by Kobwa Bloody Theater by Kobwa

Please be sure to congratulate the winners and check out everyone's galleries! :love:

I promised a feature to the winners of the September Disney Princess of the Month Contest over at :iconall-disney-princess: and here it is! I hope you enjoy. :D

 The Princess and The Frog by Blossom525 by Blossom525
The Floating Lights by Blossom525 The Maiden Warrior by Blossom525 Sleeping Beauty: Maleficent's Power by Blossom525 Lillian Farcely: Happy by Blossom525 Cherry Blossom by Blossom525

Tiana - The Princess and the Frog by Richmen by Richmen
The Archies by Richmen Elsa, Kristoff y Anna Frozen by Richmen Hans y Anna Frozen Disney by Richmen Mulan Disney by Richmen Honey Lemon Big Hero 6 by Richmen

Tiana portrait by salemcattish by salemcattish
Reading mermaid by salemcattish Maimie's Contest by salemcattish Easter bunny by salemcattish Beautiful Esmeralda by salemcattish Lady Belle by salemcattish

Tiana by artimis23 CE: Tiana by DIVISION-6 Tianna by Jayce-cl Tiana Bakes a Cake by valloria

Please be sure to congratulate the winners and check out everyone's galleries! :love:


Quick Update

Hello everyone! I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend! This is just a quick update to let you know what I'm working on at the moment. :D

:star: Contests I'm Planning To Enter:
CONTEST @ Fantasy-Arts - Entering the Grimoire Rose Masquerade piece I've been talking about. If you follow my Grimoire Rose Tumblr Blog you can see concept sketches I've been working on. :D
September Princess of The Month Contest @ :devall-disney-princess.deviantart: - Theme is to draw Tiana from the Princess and the Frog <3
The Halloween Contest - OPEN @ Disney-Artist-Club - Theme is to draw a disney character as a child celebrating Halloween. I plan to do Belle from Beauty and the Beast. :rose:
AUTUMN PALETTE CONTEST [PRIZES ADDED] @ EpicOCs - Limited palette contests can be a lot of fun. I haven't decided which Grimoire Rose character I'm using for this one yet, but I do look forward to participating.

I am also going to be working on getting Chapter One of Grimoire Rose posted online before the end of 2015. I have two more Grimoire Rose pictures in the works not for contests. One is a Thank You picture to all of you guys, and the other is the Dark Horse picture starring Sapphirine that you've heard me talking about. If you haven't voted on an outfit for Sapphirine yet, please do so HERE.

For those individuals on my Art Owed list, you have not been forgotten and never will be. I plan to clear out AT LEAST four of those images before the end of the year if not more. Thank you for your continued patience. :heart:

LASTLY, I have a recording session happening this afternoon and I plan to have a singing video up on my youtube and Music Blog this coming week. Please look forward to it!

As always, thank you so much for all of your support. I really do appreciate each and every one of you beautiful people.


Today's Art Feature! - Check it Out! <3

Succubus by shizen1102 Play with me ! [Speedpaint Added!] by Sueweetie Gift: AmityAngel by Midna01 Split beauty by Pemiin Halloween Dragon Nest by Lil-Pandaa Tifa FF7 fan art by orangedk Full Moon color by Baron-Engel CHUKO MIKU by Sueweetie Comm: cutesu 1/2 by Midna01 Commission for shouu-kun by Midna01 CM: Eternelle by Midna01 Cutesu Commission [2/2] by Pemiin SC: Cutesu by Pemiin C: Mikatsune by Pemiin SC: Mikatsune by Pemiin Minion FF7 cosplay fan art by orangedk Aerith FF7 fan art by orangedk Cooling off final color by Baron-Engel Cruising to Canterlot by Baron-Engel Strabucks girl drawing by spiece96 SU - Rose Quartz by DixFirebone Commission for Vaniraa 1/9 by orichie Keeper of Spring Time by orichie Cendre for Threads artbook by Orpheelin Moogle by Mythka

My Other Accounts

:rose: My Public Facebook
:rose: Tumblr: My Personal Life Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Art Blog
:rose: Tumblr: Grimoire Rose Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Singing Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Final Fantasy XIV Blog
:rose: My YouTube
:rose: My Twitter
:rose: My Instagram

I don't bite! Feel free to talk to me and/or ask questions. :heart:


SPARKcon is a delightfully artistic event that is held every year in my home city: Raleigh, North Carolina. My husband and I attend every year, though I have yet to actually participate. I hope that maybe next year I can. It's a great way to get exposure for your work as an artist/musician/actor. It's always so colorful and fun. I love it!

In any case, I thought you folks would enjoy some of the photos I took there today. :D

First off, photos of my husband and I from today:

tumblr nuxwbeLFaE1r6ejv9o1 540 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuy1f2jwTM1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxy5yqYf01r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuy0zeKozs1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuy13gt4VN1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus

Images of SPARKcon and some of the beautiful Chalkart done on the streets:

tumblr nuxy6woZcv1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxypamZoM1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxyqj8pYW1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxz7saVD41r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzbj3Swc1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzdud0Bt1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzf6DRGX1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzg9gSst1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus Tumblr Nuxzhzu2oq1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxznlVZHk1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzo1Q2bw1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzsk912L1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus Tumblr Nuxzv3ffs21r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzwz53lK1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzxfOqIm1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuxzzvcYhE1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus tumblr nuy00thSGO1r6ejv9o1 1280 by TouchedVenus

AND if you're in the mood for a very short humorous video, here is one on my tumblr that I took at the festival that you all may enjoy: HERE

It was an incredible time as it is every year, and I look forward to next year when maybe I will decide to participate myself. :D


Recent Art Favorites

Eternelle Angel by laverinne random OC by kirimatsu Elsa. Frozen by Prywinko I'm Looking For A Complication by LokiGoat Apple Chubs by FrogAndCog Rari Chubs by FrogAndCog Flutter Chubs by FrogAndCog Dash Chubs by FrogAndCog Twi Chubs by FrogAndCog Pink Chubs by FrogAndCog Derpy Chubs by FrogAndCog Sexy time by pinguinkepo

My Other Accounts

:rose: My Public Facebook
:rose: Tumblr: My Personal Life Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Art Blog
:rose: Tumblr: Grimoire Rose Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Singing Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Final Fantasy XIV Blog
:rose: My YouTube
:rose: My Twitter

I don't bite! Feel free to talk to me and/or ask questions. :heart:

Grimoire Rose - We're Back!

Grimoire Rose is back in business again. I’m also planning an event around the posting of the first pages of the comic. I will keep everyone updated, and I hope you will participate! If you have idea of what you’d like for an event, please let me know! I always appreciate the input of my followers. :)

Aside from the comic itself, I have two pictures that I am currently working on that are Grimoire Rose related. The first is the Masquerade picture you previously heard me talking about on this journal: Thank You!.

Second image I'm working on is inspired by Katy Perry's Dark Horse. You can watch the video below. 
This is one of the songs on the protagonist Sapphirine’s music inspiration playlist. :D I love my girl. <3 I am wanting to draw her in one of Katy Perry’s outfits from the video. Help me choose which outfit you want to see her show up in!

:star: The poll is HERE

Don't forget to join/watch the Grimoire Rose group, and if you draw any fan art please submit it there so that I can share your work! :heart:


Photoshop Brush Tutorial

A very helpful photoshop brush tutorial created by hibbary. If you're wanting to learn some photoshop digital art skills, this is a good one to know. :)

Photoshop Brush Tutorial by hibbary

Recent Art Favorites

Victoria Crowned Pigeon Chibi by hiyadollz BOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS!!! by Kibbitzer OC:: Nene by CookieHana Glass of beer under the zeppelin by DancingWitch One Winged Rabbit by Byakurin yian by jorsu nicci by jorsu The echoes of stories never told by Wish-UponAStar c:aumbrieones by jorsu

My Other Accounts

:rose: My Public Facebook
:rose: Tumblr: My Personal Life Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Art Blog
:rose: Tumblr: Grimoire Rose Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Singing Blog
:rose: Tumblr: My Final Fantasy XIV Blog
:rose: My YouTube
:rose: My Twitter

I don't bite! Feel free to talk to me and/or ask questions. :heart:
Hey guys, I have finally finished organizing and updating all of my Tumblr blogs. Most of them I had to blow the dust off of and one of them is new! I want to keep things organized in regards to my blogs, and I do not wish to clog up people’s watch feeds with stuff they don’t care about. SO below are the blogs and what each of them are about. If you have a Tumblr, please follow the blogs that have what you’re interested in seeing from me because otherwise you won’t see that stuff on my Main Blog. :)

MAIN BLOG: I've had this one for a while, and it's the one I use the most. However, what I’m posting there is changing somewhat. Please only follow this blog if you’re interested in my personal life, my weight loss journey, healthy foods, healthy lifestyles, my dribble about my day to day frustrations and happiness, pictures of me, and silly/motivational/inspiring reblogs and/or posts.

MUSIC BLOG: As some of you know I am a singer on youtube. I don’t currently have any videos up because I removed all the old ones, and I’m starting fresh with proper recording equipment. If you’re interested in reading about my experiences in music, seeing music related reblogs, and getting tumblr reminders of new youtube videos from me, then please follow this blog and also please consider subscribing to my youtube channel HERE.

ART BLOG: Quite a bunch of you already follow my art blog, but if you don’t and you’re interested in seeing my artwork on Tumblr, then please follow this blog. Posts will include art related reblogs, my thoughts and experiences as an artist, my works in progress, my sketches/doodles, tips and tutorials, and completed works. Pretty much similar to what I already do on deviantART minus the WiPs and sketches/doodles, but I know some people prefer Tumblr. On this art blog, however, you will only see the art I do for others and fan art from my favorite fandoms. If you’re interested in seeing more personal artwork, please follow the next blog on my list. If you have a deviantART account, and aren't already watching, and you want to see all my work via here, please consider giving me a watch HERE.

GRIMOIRE ROSE BLOG: If you are interested in my personal art project, Grimoire Rose, I encourage you to follow this blog.  This is a  fantasy adventure webcomic/story project I’ve been working on with my husband for quite a while, and it’s getting a reboot. I will post concept art, sketches/doodles, finished pieces, the comic, my inspirations, and my thoughts and experiences while working on the project. Only my finished GR pieces go on deviantART. If you love dragons, elves, and all things fantasy, please consider following this blog and supporting this web comic project! <3 WARNING: There will be spoilers hidden under links. Click at your own discretion, but please do not spoil others who do not wish to be spoiled. Thanks! 

FFXIV BLOG: Do you play Final Fantasy XIV? Me too!! If you’re interested in seeing my darling Irryal and her husband Azrael as they gallivant across Eorzea, I would love for you to follow her blog. I will be posting in-game screenshots, spoilers will be marked as #ffxiv spoilers, and I will also reblog any FFXIV tumblr posts that I relate to or love.

And that’s it! Be sure to watch ALL blogs you are interested in following. I will rarely cross post from one blog to the other and they each have different content.

Thank you for reading, and I look forward to seeing you around!

MUAH! <3

Another example of how I have the best husband in the world. I started stressing out because I found out my parents are coming over today, and I woke up late. I also need to clean the house. It’s not horrifically messy or anything, but it needs to be tidyed up. I also hadn’t eaten anything at all yet and I get a little crazy if I don’t eat in a timely manner.

Next thing I know I’m starting to panic. He told me to eat the leftover banana peanut butter smoothie in the fridge… and then this happened:

HUSBAND: there’s a premade smoothie in the fridge
HUSBAND: just mix it with a spoon and go
ME: it attacked me ;3;
ME: I didn’t see your spoon message and I went to pour it in the blender and it exploded
ME: I have smoothie on my arm, face, and hands
HUSBAND: aww baby
HUSBAND: how’d it do that?
ME: I feel like I’m going to cry
ME: It exploded when it reached the bottom of the blender and came out
HUSBAND: Oh, it thunked out or something?
ME: more like splooshed, but I’m having chest tension and a headache
ME: I think I might be panicking
HUSBAND: It sounds like you are
HUSBAND: Most of the smoothie is still ok right?
ME: I guess
ME: I don’t know
ME: yes?
ME: I drank the half smoothie then panicked and ate a hunk of cake ;3;
HUSBAND: I understand you’re stressed and panicking
ME: I think I ate the smoothie and cake too fast …
HUSBAND: but I need you to mentally step away from the fact that it’s you this is happening to, and imagine that statement captioned to a cat wearing a sweatband and lying next to a tipped over smoothie glass and wallowing in cake


Sadfatcat by TouchedVenus

Okay… I’m done

I officially have stopped questioning the sources of my inspiration. The moments hit me at some odd times to be honest, but I am grateful for all I can get!

While listening to Joyce Meyer’s message for today, I caught myself thinking about Grimoire Rose. I found myself thinking about the relationships between specific characters, and I won’t go into details there since most people don’t know who are couples and who are not couples in my story, and I like surprises.

I’m going to write and publish this blasted thing one day. I swear I am.

I will discuss Sapphirine, though, since she is the “Hero” of my story. Sapphirine isn’t perfect. She never has been in my mind. In fact, it is impossible for her to be perfect because Sapphirine is in essence ME. 

Sapphirine doubts herself often, and has a deep sadness inside of her because of events that have happened in her life. She also suffers from anxiety, which is why she is often guarded around other people. 

But I believe those who suffer from sadness and anxiety can feel driven to want to be better and do good things, because we don’t want others to suffer as we have.

I want Sapphirine to be an embodiment of someone coming out of a horrible situation as a better individual than they were at the start. I want people to read about her struggles with depression and anxiety. I want people to see her fight it and gain hope for her and themselves. I want this to be a story about hope and believeing and never giving up. I want this to be a story about how change is not impossible, and there IS a light at the end. I want to explore the dark and the light inside everyone, and how it can be used to help a person grow. 

This is what I want from Grimoire Rose.

Yes, she will have to overcome fantastical odds in a fantasy world filled with creatures and situations that no one in our world will ever encounter, but I can make those situations similar at least and draw connections from her world to ours.

Even if no one else enjoys this story, I need to do it. If for no one else, then I must do it for myself.

As many of my followers know, I have not been doing well the past three weeks. In fact I gained back 3 lbs over the three weeks because I kept making bad decisions for my health, and I let depression steer me around.

I want to share a conversation I had with my husband this morning during a down moment, because I hope his words of wisdom can help someone as much as they help me:

ME: Alright, I made my plan of action for today, and I’m getting started.
HUSBAND: rock on!
ME: Alrighty, took the dog out and he peed everywhere and pooped. I’ve also eaten, drank a glass of water, made green tea, and I’m working on a second glass of water. I also took my vitamins.
ME: Now I’m going to watch Joyce Meyer
HUSBAND: You go girl! <3
ME: lawl, you sound like a sassy girlfriend
HUSBAND: I’m just really proud of you <3
ME: For what? ^^;
HUSBAND: For understanding what you need to do to get back on track, and doing it!
ME: I don’t feel like what I’m doing is something to be proud of, though. It’s what I should be doing, and it’s not anything special. It’s what a normal person does.
HUSBAND: It might be what you feel a normal person should be doing, but we both know many many people that don’t
HUSBAND: And more importantly, it’s moving forward for us
ME: Doing what you’re supposed to do isn’t considered something to be proud of by most…
HUSBAND: The people who don’t think having a stable and progressively positive home life is something to be proud of are either jealous because theirs isn’t or they are completely jaded people who should go away
HUSBAND: For example, we should be happy for and proud of someone when they get a stable job and stay sober.  Sure, those are things they’re supposed to do, but those two things are very difficult for some people and would be a pretty big turn of their life to accomplish.
ME: I love you
HUSBAND: I love you too! So very, very much! <3


After that conversation it hit me, belittling the accomplishments of others no matter how big or small they are is wrong. We also shouldn’t do it to ourselves. For someone like me who suffers daily with depression and anxiety, doing “normal” activities that would improve my life are a success.

I am working to take back control of my health, and get my mind in a good place. That’s something not everyone in my state of mind has been able to break through. I have to take every day one step at a time and focus really hard on each task to keep my mind from wandering and crashing, but every day I work for it the easier it gets.

I am starting to believe that one day I can be free from depression and anxiety. I really am.

So, I didn't come online much at all yesterday because I was super busy being out and about with friends. Started the day off at the Greek Festival held a the Fairgrounds. My husband (lordpenguinman) and I met up with lilbit075 and another friend of ours. It was a great time and the food and music were quite nice. I do believe the Greek Frappe was my favorite thing, though. X3 Below is a picture of us girls taken by my wonderful hubby-kins.

Me at the Greek Festival with Friends by TouchedVenus

After that my husband and I rushed to pick up my girl Jess's birthday cake and the key to her apartment from the Bakery. Her husband-to-be wanted us to get it and decorate the apartment for a surprise party while he was keeping her out and about and distracted. LOL We also had my husband's sister (theotherkirby) with us to help decorate.

Here is the cake she got:

Steven Universe: Garnet Birthday Cake by TouchedVenus

Awesome, right!? It's Garnet from the tv show Steven Universe for those unfamiliar with the character and show. Jess is a big fan. The cake flavor was pistachio and amazing. X3 We also brought some bean dip and corn chips, and my husband made dango which is one of Jess's favorite treats that she often requests from us. LOL

After we finished decorating the house with pink balloons and streamers everywhere, we left the house and joined Mark and Jess and some other friends for dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant called Sitti. They have quite tasty food there. Jess thought that was her surprise having a bunch of people dining with her at one of her favorite restaurants, and she wasn't expecting there to be a surprise at her home. XD

We snuck out of the restaurant a little early and got back to the their home in order to unlock it and let in more guests. We all hid up the stairs in the dark. When Jess arrived we all jumped out and turned the lights on. She was very very happily surprised. :D And we had a good time chatting, eating, drinking, and watching crazy stuff on youtube like Markiplier playing the fourth installment of Five Nights At Freddy's. That game always makes me jump out of my skin.

This morning I had a little bit of a rough start because I haven't been feeling well overall. I've been pushing through because I don't like dragging down those around me, but this morning all of what I'd been holding back kind of slapped me in the face. BUT my husband is amazing, and he gave me lots of hugs and kisses, bought me some sushi (favorite food ever), and then made me this delicious pumpkin spice coffee!

Pumpkin Spice Yum! by TouchedVenus

Costa Rican coffee, nutmeg, cinnamon, pumpkin spice, and unsweetened vanilla almond milk, no additional sweetener needed.

Hubby just made this for me in the espresso machine.

Yeah, I’m ready for Autumn.

Speaking of Autumn, the weather is finally cooling off, and I'm super excited. Ermagherd, my birthday is next month! :O We currently have the porch doors open, and I'm just sitting here checking my messages on deviantART while listening to the sounds of nature and enjoying the cool breeze. So nice!

Things aren't always perfect, but moments like this let me know that everything is going to be alright.


Help us get to Montana - Print Sale! by KatieHofgard

KatieHofgard and her boyfriend are trying to pay for a trip to Montana to see his grandfather who is dying from liver cancer. You can buy prints from her etsy shop to help fund the trip. If you don't have the money to spare, please help out by spreading the word. :heart:

For More Information, Click The Above Image

I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who reached out to me when I was going through a hard time yesterday. It meant a lot to me, and I did feel encouraged to keep going. You guys are awesome. :heart:

In fact, I actually had a stroke of inspiration today! We'll see what happens, but I have an idea for a picture of two of my characters from Grimoire Rose in a masquerade situation. I'm taking some inspiration from Labyrinth since it's one of my all time childhood favorite films. I'm hoping that I'll be able to enter the image into Fantasy-Arts's CONTEST. I have until November 10th to get an entry in, so crossing my fingers that my motivation to work on this will continue. This is the most artistic motivation I've had in a while so I'm going to jump on it.

Wish me luck! :D

And for those who have never seen "Labyrinth" you need to watch it! :heart: It might be on Netflix. :XD: In any case, here is the lovely video of "As The World Falls Down" which I'm using for inspiration. Also... mmm mmm mmmm David Bowie! :love:


These are the beautiful images I discovered today. I hope that you will enjoy them as well! <3

+Afternoon Rose Tea+ by larienne AT: Oren by 9dl +The Little Mermaid - Part of Your World+ by larienne +Tale as Old as Time+ by larienne +Midsummer in Lilac Forest+ by larienne +The Last Unicorn+ by larienne +Sophie and Calcifer+ by larienne AT: Toki by bertalh

These are the beautiful images I discovered today. I hope that you will enjoy them as well! <3

Yuffie Colorised by Artgerm Aerith Gainsborough Colorised by Artgerm Cup A Joe by lilbit075 Commission for TheKelol by PaolaPieretti +Bring It On ! + by goku-no-baka Aerith by Kuvshinov-Ilya Lapis Lazuli by EcheauxBat Mystery novels. by MoonlightYUE Peachy by sakimichan Commission for Blood-Animal by Harumagai Night Elf by Harumagai Commission for SilverAngel907 by Harumagai I'm Lapis Lazuli by MisutoreKun COM: Yuclea by MisutoreKun Edea Lee: Valkyrie by MisutoreKun Blinking Mikasa by KirasElixir Inuyasha + Kagome Chibi by KirasElixir Chibi Kikyo by KirasElixir Sailor Moon by KirasElixir

I'm going to start taking half an iron pill daily. I have made the observation that when I stopped taking the iron, my energy levels plummeted. With low energy levels comes my depression. While I was on the iron pill my energy levels were more stable, but I did show symptoms of iron overload, so I stopped taking them. I’m going to give the 1/2 a pill of iron a shot instead of the whole pill and see what happens.

I’ve also decided to increase my SAM-e consumption to two pills a day instead of one. You can take up to four daily, but they tell you to monitor your moods and decide accordingly whether an increase should be made or not. I’ve been on the one pill for a long while now, so I’m going to increase it to two and see if the depression is easier to handle. I know if I’m not operating better at four then I absolutely need to go back to the doctor.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I just... I just want to be healthy and be able to think and be productive. I do not want depression. I do not want anxiety. It’s not fun. It’s not glamorous. It’s a hindrance to my life, and I want it gone.

Also, I want you all to know that I have been reading your responses to my last journal entry. Your words are very kind and they touch me greatly. Thank you. I will try to respond individually later, but I don't want anyone to think I'm ignoring them when I'm not. Just trying to get my head on straight first.

I forced myself to eat some leftover veggie chili since I hadn't eaten all day and it's after 2pm. I have a hard time eating when I get like this. I'm also taking medicine for this cold that has hit me hard, and I'm making myself drink more water since I haven't consumed any liquid today. I also made myself some tea, and I've been talking to my husband over skype while he's at work. He keeps sending me silly pictures trying to make me laugh.

I know I'll be okay. I just have to keep fighting it.

--Destinie :rose:
I want to draw, and I want to work on Grimoire Rose… but I keep thinking that I suck at drawing and the story is a waste of time and no one will like it…

I haven’t drawn anything in over a month… what am I doing with my life?

I get moments of inspiration, but my husband has been the only one really pushing me it feels. I feel like a shadow of what I used to be on deviantART, and I was never anything on Tumblr or anywhere else.

I don’t like it… I don’t like feeling like I have failed again... and again… and again…

If I could just do something and it be successful, maybe that would snap me out? I don’t know. My desire for perfection kills everything, and I’ve tried so many different stupid techniques to reset my brain. I’m losing heart and getting worse everyday…

Sorry to those that are waiting on artwork from me. I have failed you. I have failed myself. There is no good excuse. I'm just depressed and obsessed with perfection. If it can't be perfect then I won't do it because I have been rejected and kicked to the curb so much I just can barely take it anymore.

Whine Whine Whine
Complain Complain Complain
Moan Moan Moan

No one wants to hear this shit. I'm disappearing for a bit... I sound like a stupid teenager and I'm almost 31 years old....

Just checking in on everyone. Tell me how you've been and what you've been up to! Do you need anything? Have any questions? Just let me know. :D